(Closed) How to deal with a fiancé who made out with another girl

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I personally would leave the relationship for a bit while I healed from the betrayal of trust. If you feel like you can trust him again, I’d say try to work it out. I don’t think I’d be able to personally. It’s never okay to cheat in my book, drunk or sober.

 

HUGS. I know it must hurt a lot right now! ):

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Dump his sorry ass….don’t look back.

Post # 5
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

He should have felt guilty IMMEDIATELY.

“Next day” his drunk, sorry ass.

Post # 6
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee

It was a one-time thing. While it’s going to be difficult to trust him again, I’d try to stay with him. He felt guilty 3 seconds later and told you about it the next day, which is a good thing (given the situation). 

Post # 7
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Torrid:  +1

hed be saying goodbye to pokemon!!

Post # 8
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d start at the BEGINNING- why did he think it was a good idea/ acceptable to tag along with a friend to a private house party with single girls.

Was he feeling neglected, hurt, mad, stressed out that lead hi to seek out attention from another women. I think often when someone cheats its becasue something was missing or lacking from the relationship in the first place. Now read correctly I’m not claiming it was you who pushed him into this sitation I’m asking you to dig a little deeper and try to find out why he was in that situation in the first place. Finding the truth or the real reason it happened can maybe tell you if you feel you can forgive him and you both fix whatever it was that was wrong.

Post # 9
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Especially if the other person initiated after your SO was a little more flirty than was appropriate, etc. It happens.

However — moving to someone’s bed takes action. There are many steps involved beyond just the kiss. That alone would make it harder for me to forgive. Though I’m also a big believer in the fact that people don’t cheat unless they want to cheat. You never put yourself in that situation unless you’re open to the idea.

Post # 10
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Do what you feel is best. Don’t let strangers on the internet make up your mind.

Post # 11
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I feel like you should postpone the engagement, but still be together. See how things go and if he gains your trust back and your sure he’ll never do it again, then move forward. I feel like he should be responsible for his actions and being drunk isn’t an excuse, but everybody makes mistakes.

I just hope he realizes how much he has hurt you. Nobody should endure this from their fiance.

Post # 12
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sorry but i am against all cheaters 🙁  I would leave. 

Post # 13
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

look on the bright side, he realized he was wrong, he could’ve slept with her right? Depends on the guy but i don’t believe in once a cheater always a cheater. Give him another chance if you think can trust him again.

Post # 14
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kerpao:  I mean . . . kinda. Would you be saying look on the bright side if he slept with her but didn’t have an orgy? Or slept with her but it was only that night? 

Post # 16
Member
586 posts
Busy bee

Drunk, schmunk. How to deal with a fiance who made out with another girl? That’s easy: leave.

It takes about 5 seconds to think about it. If you were in love with someone, and respected that person, would you ever even consider doing that? No. It’s not possible.

Find someone who actually cares about you. As for him? Bed. Made. Lie.

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