Post # 1
I have a few narcissists in my life. A couple of which will be be life for the forseeable future (family, coworker)
So, who has a narcissist in their life? What are your tips and tricks?
ETA: the specific people I’m referring to are not just somewhat self-absorbed, on the spectrum of normal. I legit think that each one could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
Post # 3
@futuremrs1986: I’d stay away from them as much as possible and only engage in conversation when I absolutely had to.
I would also make it a point to not talk about myself around them because they obviously wouldn’t care and it would just frustrate me.
One of my old friends is a therapist and I think she’s a legit narcissist. I unsubscribed to her facebook accounts and pretty much stopped talking to her. She’ll suck the life out of you.
Post # 4
I don’t have one in my life, but my friend has an ex who’s NPD. If the people are truly personality disordered, the best you can do is just not engage. You can’t treat them like you would a normal person – they can’t be reasoned with because they don’t think the way the rest of us do. Don’t play their reindeer games.
Ugh. It sounds exhausting. :-/
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I don’t have a lot of good advice other than to not “feed” them, in a sense…. ignore the behavior as MUCH as possible, is my advice. Don’t allow your feathers to get ruffled, and don’t show your annoyance or snap back or anything like that.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
1. Identify them as a narcissist.
2. Limit contact with them or avoid them at all costs.
Narcissists are toxic, stressful people and my main goal in life is to avoid stress. When I have to interact with stressful people I use a get in, get out approach. The less interaction and reaction you give them, the less they can feed off of you.
Post # 7
@futuremrs1986: I agree with the other posters, my mother is a narcissist and in the end I had to cut all ties (my parents are separated).
It’s good that you are able to pick them off as narcissistic, that is a big help for you as it can help you know what to expect and hopefully not be as hurt by the behaviour.
Best of luck!
Post # 8
@beachbride1216: +1. Toxic people are best to be avoided, if possible.
Post # 9
@futuremrs1986: There is one in my life, soon to be another (a future in-law). You can google the term “daughters of narcissistic mothers” and come up with coping strategies which may help you no matter the relation. That site has been a life saver for me. In general, distance yourself, if not physically, then emotionally – as in, don’t react when goaded. Keep the drama level as low as possible. It takes practice, but it has helped me to try to work on that. *HUGS*
Post # 10
set your boundaries and stick to them. They will throw a tantrum the first few times you do this beause they’re used to getting a certain reaction from you and you’re changing the rules of the game, but it will get easier. Think of it like teaching a baby to cry himself to sleep – same type of thing really. Let them cry it out, rant, whatever. Don’t react. Just set your boundaries and politely and firmly refuse to discuss any further.
Post # 11
@futuremrs1986: I’ve heard things about a book titled The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor Payson.
Someone I know is married to a narcissist and read the book and was able to use those tools to diffuse the situation.. which she had never been able to do before.
Post # 12
I have one person in particular who is very difficult to deal with. I found these books helpful:
And I plan to read this one soon:
Disarming the Narcissist
I found reading about strategies for protecting your own self-worth in the face of the self-absorbed very helpful.
Post # 13
Thank you all for you helpful responses and sharing your experiences. It always feels better to know that you’re not the only one who has gone through a tough sitution.
@MrsEdamame: I actually bought disarming the narcissist but have yet to read it!
Post # 14
@futuremrs1986: Let me know if you like it! It is on my “to read” list 🙂
Post # 15
I would figure out a way to spend as little time with them as possible. :/