How to deal with a narcissist? What are you strategies?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@futuremrs1986:  I’d stay away from them as much as possible and only engage in conversation when I absolutely had to.

I would also make it a point to not talk about myself around them because they obviously wouldn’t care and it would just frustrate me.

One of my old friends is a therapist and I think she’s a legit narcissist.  I unsubscribed to her facebook accounts and pretty much stopped talking to her.  She’ll suck the life out of you.

Post # 4
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t have one in my life, but my friend has an ex who’s NPD. If the people are truly personality disordered, the best you can do is just not engage. You can’t treat them like you would a normal person – they can’t be reasoned with because they don’t think the way the rest of us do. Don’t play their reindeer games.

Ugh. It sounds exhausting. :-/

Post # 5
2372 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I don’t have a lot of good advice other than to not “feed” them, in a sense…. ignore the behavior as MUCH as possible, is my advice. Don’t allow your feathers to get ruffled, and don’t show your annoyance or snap back or anything like that.

Post # 6
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

1. Identify them as a narcissist.

2. Limit contact with them or avoid them at all costs.

Narcissists are toxic, stressful people and my main goal in life is to avoid stress.  When I have to interact with stressful people I use a get in, get out approach.  The less interaction and reaction you give them, the less they can feed off of you.

Post # 7
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@futuremrs1986:  I agree with the other posters, my mother is a narcissist and in the end I had to cut all ties (my parents are separated).

It’s good that you are able to pick them off as narcissistic, that is a big help for you as it can help you know what to expect and hopefully not be as hurt by the behaviour.

Best of luck!

Post # 8
9030 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@beachbride1216:  +1.  Toxic people are best to be avoided, if possible.

Post # 9
3845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@futuremrs1986:   There is one in my life, soon to be another (a future in-law).   You can google the term “daughters of narcissistic mothers”  and come up with coping strategies which may help you no matter the relation.   That site has been a life saver for me.   In general, distance yourself, if not physically, then emotionally – as in, don’t react when goaded.  Keep the drama level as low as possible.  It takes practice, but it has helped me to try to work on that.  *HUGS*

Post # 10
240 posts
Helper bee

set your boundaries and stick to them. They will throw a tantrum the first few times you do this beause they’re used to getting a certain reaction from you and you’re changing the rules of the game, but it will get easier. Think of it like teaching a baby to cry himself to sleep – same type of thing really. Let them cry it out, rant, whatever. Don’t react. Just set your boundaries and politely and firmly refuse to discuss any further.


Post # 11
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@futuremrs1986:  I’ve heard things about a book titled The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor Payson.

Someone I know is married to a narcissist and read the book and was able to use those tools to diffuse the situation.. which she had never been able to do before.

Post # 12
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have one person in particular who is very difficult to deal with. I found these books helpful:

Emotional Blackmail

Toxic Parents 

And I plan to read this one soon:

Disarming the Narcissist

I found reading about strategies for protecting your own self-worth in the face of the self-absorbed very helpful. 


Post # 14
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@futuremrs1986:  Let me know if you like it! It is on my “to read” list 🙂

Post # 15
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would figure out a way to spend as little time with them as possible. :/

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