Post # 1
I’m having a bit of a problem. We’ve just selected our wedding parties and are in the baby stages of planning and I’m already clashing with my bridesmaids 🙁
We selected our family members to be in our parties and I’m stuck with my FH sisters, who not only all have opinions on my marriage and my wedding, but suggestions and complaints as well.
My question is, how do I deal with these women?? I’m a pretty passive, easy going person as it is and I understand that these are ladies I’ll be around for the rest of my life, but at the same time, it’s my wedding and I do have a pretty specific vision for it. Like I said, we’re JUST starting to tell everyone our plans and already they’ve complained about the types of dresses and the date and the time and “well, I did this at my wedding” and “I wouldn’t have THAT in MY wedding” and everything else.
So what do I do? I forsee a lot of stress coming my way as the days go on. I don’t want to kick them out of the party or anything like that but I’m also over them having opinions about everything!
Thanks for reading 🙂
Post # 3
Stop talking about the wedding to them! It is way too early to worry about dresses, so stop discussing the dresses, the plans, and put them on a need to know basis.
Go kicking out family members and they will have ammo against you for the next 35 years at every family event. Did you ask for input on the dresses? Did you ask each girl PRIVATELY what her budget is? Are you demanding expensive shoes and other accessories?
If it gets really bad with the “I would NEVER do that at my wedding” stuff, calmly tell them you realize you have different wedding visions and you would appreciate it if they would respect your decisions.
If you cut the wedding chatter with them, hold off on the dresses for awhile and talk about everything but the wedding they should chill out a bit.
Post # 4
Don’t invite them to planning events like to the florist or venue or share details, let your brother tell his sisters to shut up. Have a standard response. Such as this is what Fi and I like for Our wedding and we already picked and finalized our choices.
Post # 5
It’s not one of your poll options, but just stop discussing wedding details with them. Say you haven’t decided yet, and if they give opinions just nod your head and make non-comittal comments. Or say that you want it to be a surprise. But clearly discussing your ideas with them just leads into conversations you don’t want to have, so not discussing your ideas with them is the best way to go.
Post # 6
Thank you all for the suggestions!! I, thankfully, have an awesome sister/MOH who really has been super helpful and has actually offered to kindly tell them where they can put their suggestions but I really don’t want that either!!
I did not ask for input on dresses. I told them basically what I’d like to see them in and that we’ll go look at some options some time in the WAY future. My wedding is going to be causal and semi formal and dresses that are made of silk or are like $100 wouldn’t fit at all.
I guess the best way to go about it would be to just keep them in the dark as much as possible and only call on them when it’s important, like a fitting, huh?
Thanks everyone!! 🙂
Post # 7
You’re likely having too much conversation with EVERYONE. If you have a specific vision for your wedding, let it be YOUR vision and just carry it out. All your bridesmaids need to know is when the wedding is, what they need to wear and what time to show up.
Post # 8
Yeah I would stop talking to them about it or give very general answers. It’s way too early for them to even be involved if you don’t want them to be.
They don’t need to come with you to every appointment and be there every step of the way. You can do it yourself and with your vendors. Just go look at bridesmaids dresses with them later on or maybe your own dress too (they don’t even have to come to this!). Let them plan the shower and/or bachelorette. They don’t need to do much other than those things and then show up that day.
Just say “I’ll let you know when we make a decision”
Post # 9
Just do what you want and dont tell them about all your decisions. Thats what I did..I planned everything on my own and just let everyone know slowly what I had already planned so then they couldnt put there two sense in cause it was already done