How to deal with complaining bridesmaids…

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Tell her the thought was nice but since you’be decided on fesh flowers, she should return the items. Let her wear flats if she wants; it will be one of the very least important details of the day.

Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t use the flowers.

She bought the flowers without getting your permission or even letting you know about it. You are not obliged to use those flowers just because she spent money on them, or because not using them might hurt her feelings. 

As for the BM complaining about wearing white, ignore it. Just make it clear that white is the color you’ve chosen, and you’re not changing that. She’s wearing the dress for a few hours — she’ll live.

As for the BM complaining about shoes, maybe you could pick out some flats that you are fine with her wearing and let her wear those. If you want her to wear heals then I guess you’ll just have reiterate that you want them to wear heels.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with these hassles. I hope dealing with them gets easier.

Post # 4
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Tell her you had her heart set on fresh flowers.  Ask to return them.  If for some reason she can’t maybe you can find another use for them at the reception?

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

ahough2:  Eek, they really are being difficult. 

I understand why you feel bad about the flower issue, but you didn’t cause any of it. She spent her money on her own, and clearly for her own reasons. You don’t have to give up the flowers that you really want just because she got impatient and decided to buy flowers. You don’t need to feel bad for something that was completely out of your control. 

Honestly, I think you should keep things the way you want them, and not give in to the complaints. You’re not asking them to do anything unreasonable, and your color scheme sounds beautiful. Wearing specfic dresses, shoes, accesories, etc. is standard bridesmaid stuff. If they can’t handle that, they don’t need to have the BM position. 

I don’t know that I would be able to keep such difficult people in the bridal party lol. They would be out, even the ones I’m related to. Nobody has time for such nonsense, especially not a bride. 

Post # 9
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I think the dresses you chose look fine together. Nothing you’ve said or shown seems unreasonable to me.

I’ll take a look at BM dresses and see if I can find other options, though. 

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

ahough2:  nicely ignore them (because you’re being more than reasonable) and keep pushing for the dress and shoes you want. Just be cheery and let them know what dates to purchase each by and asking them to let you know When they’ve ordered/bought.

For your sister, it might ease things if you buy the shoes for her and tell her again that she can change out of them after your grand entrance or after pics. 

Post # 12
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

They should all wear that dress, I see no problems with it. If the biggest complaint is the color, that’s a non-issue.

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