How to deal with DH's female coworker?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
9019 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

What I would do is ignore her but in a polite way; what I mean is if she said hello I would say hi back but not initiate a conversation with her.  I hate drama so I don’t engage in it.  Your husband has handled her flirting with him so there really shouldn’t be an issue. 

Post # 4
26 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not so sure there’s anything you can do to “deal” with her. If I was in your shoes, I would just ignore her. She seems to be trying to get a rise out of you, so that maybe you cause a fight with your DH, so that she can sweep in to “save the day”. She seems to be a big attention whore, and it’s bothering her that it doesn’t seem to be working.

If you flat out ignore her attempts, which I’m sure she will try to come hang all over him at the get together, then she will lose interest. It’s not bothering you, so none of her efforts work. As long as your DH ignore her attempts, or if I were him, I’d say, “excuse me, you’re making me uncomforable”; I think she will walk away. A united front is what she needs to see, and she will stop.

Post # 5
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Honesty it sounds ike your husband is fueling a lot of drama here. Unles she says something that makes him uncomfortabe I don’t think you need to know who she is talking to, firting with, what he thinks her intentions are etc.

Post # 6
1287 posts
Bumble bee

She’s married, you’re married….Ignore her.  Don’t throw fuel on the fire and start drama where there really isn’t any that needs to be started.  She just sounds annoying…that’s it.  Just tell your husband to stop engaging with her, and stop engaging in conversation with you about her.  

Post # 7
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I wouldn’t ignore her if she says anything to you. If she says “Hello,” you need to say it back. If she asks a general “How are you?” then answer with a general answer and be polite. Don’t approach her or feel the need to talk to her, but don’t be rude.

As for her dirty looks and comments to other people, just ignore them. Take the high road and don’t say anything bad about her. If someone else starts to bad mouth her to you, respond with “I don’t really know her that well.”

That would be my advice.

Post # 8
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@texasbee:  I actually disagree with the person who said DH shouldn’t tell you what goes on. I get her point, but at the same time, I know I’d want to know. And it would make me feel like A, DH was being very up-front and honest with me, and B, DH was trustworthy. 

I would be polite but definitely not go out of my way to talk to her. People like this are annoying, but since she’s obviously very immature, she will probably take any opportunity to stir up drama/ get you frustrated. 

Post # 9
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@texasbee:  This chick is CRAZZZZYYYY pants.  #1 “visibly upset” that is worrysome.

What’s an HH though?  I assume it’s some kind of party, if so like you say you need to go because it’s for a good friend.  I would confront her (if you’re bitchy agressive like me) or at least pull her aside and try to make her see that she’s acting like a child.  I also would have taken the opening that FIL gave you to explain the situation.  Good for your DH keeping you in the loop!

Post # 12
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@texasbee:  Be civil and polite but otherwise avoid her. 

Basically, if she wants to shoot you dirty looks, talk crap about your store or get loud when you’re on the other end of the phone, who cares? That only has power if you let it. Go to the happy hour, greet her, then talk to other people. Don’t be weird or make a show of avoiding her. If she wants to act out, she’ll only make herself look bad But you will look poised and rational in contrast.

I do hope your DH is documenting any weird behavior on her part in the event that she makes a complaint to HR about him.

Post # 13
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@texasbee:  Sorry if my post wasn’t clear. I was trying to say that I think it’s good for him to keep you in the loop:) 

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