How to deal with divorced parents at weddings?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

caiteliz23:  They’re adults and I think they can be civil for a day. I’d let your photographer know ahead of time so they don’t try to get your parents to take pictures together or something.

Almost everyone I know had divorced parents at their wedding…at worst that was a little snide chit chat from either the mom or the dad but no big deal.

Post # 3
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

caiteliz23:  My parents have been divorced since I was in middle school. My dad currently has a girlfriend who came to the wedding. It annoyed my mom. But they behaved appropriately during the entire wedding. They just ignored each other and stayed seperated for pictures with the family. I would just make sure you talk to them and let them know you’d like for them to be civil and even ignore each other if possible to make it easier. They are adults and it is YOUR day. I wouldn’t worry too much.

Post # 4
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re dealing with the same thing, except FI’s parents have been divorced for 28 years! His mother even refused to pay for the rehearsal dinner because his father would be there. Both parents are remarried and FI even has a 19 yo half sister from his mother. Time to move on. I’m nervous as well, FI isn’t as nervous, but he’s not happy with the situation. 

Just make sure you have people to run interference. We did assigned seating so they woudn’t “end up” near each other. Let your photographer know what photos and who’s in what, etc. 

Post # 6
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

librarygirl85:  

Dont understand the dig about FMIL refusing to pay for RD as her ex was there.  Why shouldnt FFIL pay?   I can understand why someone doesnt want to pay for ex to eat.

Post # 7
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

juanita.kelly.9: You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you. You already missed the point. 

Post # 8
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My parents have been divorced for 20 years but just a few years ago they went to court against each other to hash out a money issue. Needless to say my parents are no longer on good terms. My brother was the one to get married right after so it was most awkward for his wedding, less so for mine. They were sat at different tables from each other At dinner and had grandoarents between them during the ceremonies. They were not in “family” photos together. Don’t worry too much about your mom possibly making faces. I almost guarantee you will be too busy to notice. And you kind of have to just let yourself have a good day and say, no matter what her bad behavior you will ignore it and enjoy yourself. And it’s not unreasonable to say hey mom, I know you’re hurt and I respect that. But I just hope that you can try to keepthose  feelings under wraps for this one day and just be polite. It would mean a lot to me. Just because they got divorced doesn’t mean you shouldn’t walk down the aisle with your dad or dance with him either. gently remind her that he’s still your dad and you still love him, if you have to. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
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