Post # 1
I am going back and forth about being torn about the folliowing situation:
I am a 30 year old encore bride. My fiance has never been married. We are paying for the wedding entirely on our own. In the early planning stages (the night we got engaged!) we decided we wanted to have under 100 people at the wedding. Our next decision was to do a destination wedding in Flordia.
We fell in love with a venue for the ceremony that will fit 60-70 people (counting us and the wedding party) comfortably. This meant we had to cut the guest list even more. I come from a large family. My parents have 11 brothers and sisters. I am very close with 2 of my aunts and have a good relationship with my mom’s side and a see each other on christmas relationship with my dad’s side. In order to make the wedding intimate and fit the venue we decided to not invite all of my aunts and uncles and just invite the 2 I am close with and the 1 that lives in the town in Florida.
However, we also decided that we will have a 2nd hometown reception in which everyone can be invited…. this will be a full reception with music and food and drink and a cake.
In my mind this is fine. However, I have gotten mixed reviews from the family members that are invited. They think I should have a full out conversation with my other aunts and uncles about the situation. This seems like too much…they will get a save the date and invite to the 2nd reception and that is that……..
Destination brides how are you handling this???
sorry so long
Post # 3
Wow. Keep it immediate family and closest for the DW, then invite half the country to thr 2nd reception. Why in God’s name should you have to consult all & sundry about your wedding plans? It’s your wedding.
Post # 4
We are doing a DW with 8 guests. We sent out a STD for our hometown reception and put in a note that said we are having a privite ceremony in the Bahamas on Nov 5 please STD for our hometown reception!
Post # 5
Are they questioning that some aunts and uncles are invited, but not all? Are they questioning the second reception? You can do the DW the way you want, but my concern is, are they trying to suggest that the other family not invited to the DW, will not go to the 2nd reception?
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
I think that if you have a large family, you have to do an all-or-nothing approach. I’m sure everyone is aware that you’re closer to one or two aunts than to all of them, but imagine it from their perspective — most people think “wedding” and assume everyone will be there. I can’t imagine someone being totally okay with their sister being invited to your wedding, but not them.
I would say to keep it very small at your DW (parents, immediate family only) and then have your reception with “everyone.”
Post # 7
I agree with oyster. You should either invite all aunts and uncles or none to the wedding.
Post # 8
I’m with oyster and Moose1209 – with family you really have to follow the all-or-none rule (ie, all aunts and uncles or no aunts and uncles). This isn’t a situation where you can play favorites. If your venue doesn’t allow you to invite all of your aunts/uncles then they’ll all just have to wait to celebrate with you at the home-town reception.
Post # 9
Thanks all. To clarify I think the issue is everyone not being invited to florida. The 2nd reception is a non issue.
@ the all or nothing folks: thanks for your input. I should say that the 2 aunts being invited our my very close friends. It is not playing favorites as much as they are a huge part of my life. The rest of my family knows this. They were bridesmaids in my first wedding and people that I hang out with at least once a week. I am not sure if that changes your perspective at all…but I can’t not invite them….