(Closed) How to deal with my sister being a brat?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry you have those feelings. And now that your wedding is two months away, it’s like added frustrations. Yuck! I definitely think you have every right to feel the way you do. I don’t think you are in the least bit crazy!

Sounds like your sister and mother didn’t want any “stress” from helping plan your wedding. Maybe your sister was a tid bit jealous at your situation; and therefeore felt it was a good idea to completley exclude herself. Perhaps your mother caught on to it and excluded herself for her other daughters sake? I dont know. Whatever it is theres got o be a good reaon behind it all.

I would bring it up in private to your mother. Let her know how it made you feel. Tell her what you wished or hoped she would have been apart of. Maybe it’s not too late. What can she help wth now? Maybe also bring something up with your sister as well (again in private.)

I had to have a chat with my mother because she basically didn’t plan on helping me with anything either. She was openly very critical of all my choices and flat out said, “If you don’t want to hear what I have to say than don’t talk to me about it.” All her comments were negative. 🙁 Well, after our talk, she did a 180. She got really involved and helped out a TON! Moms come around whe you need them to. Maybe all they need is for us daughters to let them know what we need them to do for us. 🙂

In the end, only you know how to remedy the situation. Good Luck! 🙂

Post # 4
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with CharmBracelet. You should talk with your mother just like you wrote on your post. See what she has to say about it. Your sister seems very jealous of you, from what it seems like. It really sucks that she has to be that way with you. Talk to your mom first. Let us know how it turns out. Sorry you are going thru this. 

Post # 5
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow. I agree with the other posters, you have to talk with your mom, otherwise you will always resent this.

Post # 6
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The only thing you can do is talk to your mom as PP’s have suggested. I am so sorry, reading this made me so sad.

I hope everything works out for you.

Post # 7
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

yikes! im so sorry youve been put through that! is that the kind of dynamic you and your mom/sister have always had?

Post # 9
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry you are going through this.  It sounds like they are being hurtful.  From your post, my first thought was that they do not like your fiance.  Do they have a good relationship with him?  Could that be playing into this?

Post # 12
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@hermione_888:  Ugh this all sounds so horrible!!  Your mom and your sister are definitely treating you unfairly.  If I were in this situation I would just stop trying with them, stop reaching out, stop sharing any of the wedding plans, give them back what they are giving you — nothing!  But of course, everyone’s family dynamic is different and that may not work for you..  I hope your youngest sister is more agreeable than they are.  Sorry you are having to deal with all these frustrations!

Post # 13
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OP, sorry you’re dealing with this… and it seems like the strange family dynamics/relationships and all the pent up anger/resentment is displacing and rearing its ugly head right now.

From what you’re posted it seems like there are some unresolved relationship issues within all the parties. If you’re mother is being unreasonable; let her be. You have bigger things to worry about. You’re marrying a man that loves you and you will soon be your own family unit.

How if your relationship with the other members in your family? Does your other sister see how unfair all this is? Maybe she can counsel and speak to the other two if she’s aware of how unbalanced and unfair all this is.

Post # 14
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This whole thing seems really odd, did you have these issues with you before? I can’t beilive people would be so cruel in the time leading up the wedding.

Post # 15
365 posts
Helper bee

Man. I think the good advice for you right now is to try not to take it too seriously, don’t be mean to them but don’t expect much, be honest with your feelings, etc. etc. – but if this were me, I’d take this as an opportunity to cut loose and move on in your life without them. They are showing you their true colors right now. You can’t win with these people. You do the right thing, you’re told to ‘be the bigger person’. You do the wrong thing… and I bet all hell will break loose.

Haha – this is awful, awful advice (don’t do it!) but if I were you, I’d almost be tempted to forget to invite your sister to your wedding, and tell your mom you’re upset she’s not coming… and leave it at that. Maybe your sister will ‘be the bigger person’ and ‘come if she can’! But that’s awful. Don’t do that.

Post # 16
9216 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yikes, I am so sorry.  I would try to keep the perspective that by entering into this marriage, you are creating your OWN family with someone who loves and respects you.  One of the great things about being an adult is that you can decide how much you want to keep your family members a part of your life.  No offense to your mother and sister, but it doesn’t sound like they are worth it.

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