Post # 1
So my friend (we will call her Sally haha!) Sally has ALWAYS been mean and down right rude to me all of my life, we have been “friends” since we were 4 (I know that not a true friend). Sally has always told me I look ugly in things, that I look fat, my hair is ugly, ect… I could go on forever! She is not a super attractive woman so sometime I often wonder if it is her insecuritys. SHE ALWAYS HAS TO PUT ME DOWN! So now on to my story.
I got engaged a few weeks ago and she wanted to come over, see my ring and congratulate me (I guess). So the first thing I do is show her my ring and she says “That ring is not big enough.” I said to her “it doesnt matter what you think because I love it” and she goes “I would never wear that”. And thats just the beginning!!! Then I try to blow her off then I start talking about how my aunt (who is an amazing seamstress, she made my prom dresses) is going to be making my wedding dress. Then Sally said “you are going to hav someone make your dress what are you stupid!” I say “no, It will be more special to me..” She said something along the line that it wont look good on me… THEN she goes and says ” so as the maid of honor I get to pick out a nice sexy dress right?” I NEVER SAID SHE WAS EVEN GOING TO BE IN MY WEDDING!!! I go I say “no my bridesmades are wearing what I pick and are wearing nude shoes” Because I am going to have a flashy pair of heals and I want to shine on my day. Then Sally goes and said “YOU ARE PICKING OUT THE DRESSES, wow! And I will not be wearing nude shoes.” I go well If you are picked to be in my wedding party you will be” and sally goes “well I will put jewels all over and out shine you!”
I was so hurt by all the things she said to me!!! Wat frind treats another friend like that I mean come on!!! She left and I was in tears. I wanted her to be happy for me and for once have something be about me… But no it is always about her and my feelins never matter. I am nothing but nice and I just get rudeness in return.
Sorry but I needed to vent…
How would you bees deal with someone like this? I have often wondered what it would be like not to be her friend, would I be happier? I dont think I deserve getting treated like shit by a so called friend…
Thanks bees for the advice!
Post # 3
How old is she? She sounds really young.
Some people are not as supportive as others when it comes to weddings. How are you other friends?
Post # 4
Cut her out of your life. I’ve had “friends” like that and I just stopped answering their phone calls. Once you don’t have to dread talking to her you’ll feel so much better!
Post # 5
Well for a start there is no way in 100 years I would ask her to be MOH or bridemaid! They need to be people who support you.
Perhaps invite her to the wedding, depending how much you want to stay friends with her. I’m puzzled why you would want to be friends with her at all.
Post # 6
@peachacid: She is 23 but SUPER immature!! I cant stand it she acts like a 13 year old! She has never been supportive for anything regardless of what it is.
All of my other friends are happy for me, supportive and caring about my feelings. Sally isnt really in my group of friends because she lives a few hours away (but none of my friends can stand her). I dont want her in my wedding because of how she is but she expects to be in it…
I dont know how to tell her that I really dont want her in my wedding unless she changes her additude… I dont know what to do?!
Post # 7
This is not a friend. If someone insulted me constantly, I would cut them out of my life.
Post # 8
@paula1248: To tell you the truth I dont want to be friends! But it is the thing that I have been frends with her since we were 4… I dont know how to put her down easy… I know she isnt nice to me but I hate hurting people… It almost makes me sick, I dont know what to do!? 🙁 My fiance always asks why I am friends with her… and to tell you the truth the only thing is how long we have been friends!
Post # 9
I have a group of people who I also known since we were four cause we lived in the same neighborhood, went to little league and other things, and eventually kindergarten however I remain friends with the ones who I get along and like. All the others I see at random events because my family still in contact with theirs.
Stop subjecting yourself to her horrible behavior. You are embarking on a time that should be your happiest. So the first step is picking up the phone calling this Sally telling her you don’t appreciate her hurtful comments and you are no longer going want to be in contact. Then delete delete deleter, her phone number, her from social net working sites. Then never think about her again. Knowing someone since you were four(who sounds like she has been bullying you) isn’t a basis for a friendship.
Post # 10
@AlwaysSunny: I wish it was that easy… I do dread talking to her but when she is in town she just pops in on her own terms, how do I stop that? I never text or call her on my own terms either..
Post # 11
It doesn’t matter who has been around the longest. It matters who treats you like a REAL friend would, with respect! She sounds like a 12 year old. Cut her out of your life, NOW! Move on and be happy with your upcoming marriage! 🙂
Post # 12
“I dont know how to put her down easy… I know she isnt nice to me but I hate hurting people… It almost makes me sick, I dont know what to do!?”
Standing up for yourself isn’t being mean. You can be firm and still nice. It took me many years to realize this.
Post # 13
Screw putting her off easy. Just tell her to f** off and you dont want to associate with people who are bitches.
Post # 14
@Roxykitten: Stop taking her calls, change your #, unfriend her on facebook and when she comes over don’t answer the door.
Post # 15
@TwoCityBride: Thats true very true, she does bully me. I just feel like such a wimp when it comes down to this. I know I would feel so much better not having to worry about her rude and mean comments. This is suppose to be the happiest time in my life!
Post # 16
@Roxykitten: “I dont know how to tell her that I really dont want her in my wedding unless she changes her additude… I dont know what to do?!”
My advice is this: don’t tell her unless she asks. Pick your bridal party (not including her). If and when she asks if she’s a BM, say “no”. If she queries it, say sorry but I’m closer to these other girls these days. (I don’t think anything’s to be gained from attributing it to her behvaiour). If she gets upset, well bad luck. Better to have an upset girl outside the bridal party, then a b1tch in the bridal party.
And don’t try to say anything like you will let her in if she changes her attitude. She has shown her true colours for the last 19 years. Letting her in on the promise that she’ll change, is just asking for trouble.