Post # 1
my SIL (DH’s sissy) is great, i love her, she’s my closest girl-friend. We can be 100% open and honest with one another. We’ve been friends for years and years before me and DH tied the knot. Love the girl. Can’t get enough.
The problem I run into here is that her brother (my wonderful husband) and her can butt heads like siblings do. They work together so they constatnly compete with each other. “Why do you make more $$$ than me?” “I do more work than you!” “Why were you late today?” “I got here earlier than you” “That’s not fair!” etc. etc. etc.
I would rather be left out of the sibling rivalry but sometimes I feel that I get dragged into it-Especially when each one is telling me something about the other “your husband is lazy” “my sister is so rude!!!” On one hand I feel like I should stick up for my friend -which means constantly making excuses for her “oh, she didn’t mean it that way”, ultimately I feel that I should protect my husband, and then on top of all that I really just want to stay out of it because i know its just petty sibling rivalry.
Whats a girl to do???
Post # 3
@mrshoneybee: I would tell both that it’s unfair to stick you in the middle… You’re married to one and the other is a BFF. If I was in that position; I’d tell them each to “vent to the other person and not me since I’m not taking sides on this.” Hopefully a few times and they will each get the idea. 🙁
Post # 4
@mrshoneybee: Ultimately, your allegence is to your husband. I’d be more prone to let my husband vent to me about my BFF/his sister, than would want my BFF venting about her brother.
I think it’s ok to share some perspective to both sides… as long as it’s not causing you angst. Your perspective may help calm your husband down and vice versa.
And, fwiw, I’d also be cautious about airing your dirty laundry or issues with DH to your SIL.
ETA: Maybe the next time your husband needs to vent about his sister…. just let him. I’ve found that often my DH just wants to be heard and supported vs. trying to defend the honor of his sister because you know she’s not like whatever he’s venting about – do you know what I mean? You know that at the end of the day your husband loves his sister… sometimes you just need to vent – so, don’t rob him of that by butting in! 😉
Post # 5
@mrshoneybee: If I were you, I would ask them to stop putting you in the middle and let them know that you intend to change the subject whenever you do. Then, I would count my blessings that I am friends with my SIL! How lucky!