- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
My cousin is engaged. She became engaged after a very short relationship with a man she met at work. I am happy she is happy. She will also be my maid of honor, since we have been close since she was little. She was baptized at about 12 years old in the church I now have attended for the past 17 years. After she and her two siblings were baptized, church attendance became scant. She became a rebellious teen and they stopped going. She was never confirmed.
Now she wants to be married there. I think it is great, as we always love having new members join us. She seems to think, though, that she is a member. She does not go to church, was never reaffirmed as an adult, and the last time she stepped foot inside was the day of her nieces and nephew baptism, to which she was a co-godparent with me. When she told me she wanted to be married there, I said great! But, when I told her the fee for non-members, she asked about becoming a member again (to which she really never was). I asked my pastor, and he told me she has to attend church regularly, and when he sees that she is serious, he will have her brought in as a member. She balked at that, because she works till midnight the night before (church starts at 10am!), she works late afternoon on Sundays, etc, etc. I told her that she either commits to becoming a member or she pays the fee. I think she only wants the membership so she doesn’t have to pay. She knows something has to be given, but not a set amount. If she really wanted to become a member, she would try. I think she believes that because I am a steady member, and she was co-godparent to the children, that he will “let it slide”. I never know how to speak to her, because she gets testy. And her fiance would surely get mad and tell her to forget about it and talk bad about my minister. Whenever things don’t go their way, they blame everyone else. What they don’t understand about this is that if my pastor marries them without being members, he is taking HIS time away from the church for non-members who only want the church to get married “in a church”. And, don’t get me wrong, he does everything he can to bring in new members. It is very important to him that people have faith. I just don’t want my cousin angry at me. We have always been close, but things are different since she met this guy. For one, she was always fun to be around with a great sense of humor. Now, every time she posts on social media, she is complaining. When I go to parties she is at, she is distant. Not the same, and not for the better.
She also just moved back in with her parents because his dad “charged them rent and made them pay for their own food!”. Now, my aunt and uncle are asking for $60 a week from them, and she is complaining about that as well! They also have been trying to have a baby since they first met! They have very little money from their jobs, and when they get it, they blow it. I really don’t think my minister would believe they are responsible enough to even get married, if they told the truth during pre-marital counseling. I love my cousin, and want her to be happy, but she has a tendency to lie. I just wish she would not keep pressuring me about this, when I have told her to talk to the pastor.