How to deal with those who are waiting

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Member
710 posts
Busy bee

LOL just wait till she actually gets engaged.  Good luck, friend.  Just try to be patient with her.

Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly, I applaud you for being as patient as you have been. You are trying to be sensitive to her feelings, but you can’t sensor everything you say and do just because she is dying to be engaged. 

It is a hard thing to wait for, but she may be driving her man mad with badgering him to propose (you didn’t mention whether she talked about getting married constantly to her man, but that is a common theme for waiting SO’s). What is the holdup on the engagement, if there is one?

I know many people don’t find it comforting, but I’m a fan of being honest when situations hit this point. I would tell her that you honestly don’t know what to do anymore because she’s driving herself and you crazy being so wrapped up in getting engaged (and probably her man, too!) and that while you are there for her, you can’t always be talking and thinking about her proposal/engagement/wedding or lack thereof. She needs to get a hobby to take her mind off this and maybe when she has some distance things will fall into place!

Member
7 posts
Newbee

It sounds to me like you have some geniune concerns about her tying her self-worth to this proposal, and I don’t think that comes off as being a smug married person at all. 

I think you could at least start by saying that you’re worried about how all this waiting is affecting her, and then that might open up the conversation to talk about how all this waiting is affecting YOU. It seems a bit like maybe she doesn’t get that her stress is being a drain on you, and I know that if I were doing that to someone I’d really appreciate them being honest about it.

There’s not a whole lot you can say that will help/hurt the proposal situation obviously, but being honest might help her get some perspective on the situation.

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