How to deal with unsolicited advice from Mom.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Sea_Ashley:  She’s your mom!  That sounds very motherly… and yes, I know motherly borders on being annoying but I don’t think that’s something you can tell her off about.  She probably thinks she is being helpful.

 

My mother annoys the heck out of me by getting upset about thngs that are no big deal, like she’ll relay them to me in a story and I want to say “cool story, bro!”

Post # 4
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Sea_Ashley:  My mom and MIL both annoy me. I just ignore when they get like that.

Post # 5
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She’s just being a mom. Just smile and nod and thank her for the advice.

It doesn’t sound like she’s that bad.

Post # 6
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I guarantee that, if you have children, you will find yourself doing the exact same thing.

We can all make a conscious choice about what we let bother us.

Choose not to let it bother you. “Thanks Mom.”

Post # 7
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My mom does things like that and really gets on my nerves.  She doesn’t do it to be annoying, she does it because she loves me.  When I get annoyed I think about my best friend.  Her mom is dying and my friend would give anything to have a little more time with her.  That usually changes my tune.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have a mom, so I try to put things into perspective.

Post # 8
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha I always respond to these types of things with horrendous sarcasm. My Grumpy Grandpa (my mother’s father) always said, “Stupid questions get stupid answers.” So if Mom were to say something like “but why don’t you email her and ask,” I would have responded with “I dunno, I was thinking of sending a carrier pigeon instead. Or maybe emailing a variety of people other than makeup artist to ask how long the makeup artist might take.” And then my mom would give me a look and I would say “don’t offer foolish advice if you don’t want sarcasm in response.” But that’s the kind of relationship my mom and I have, haha. It’s not for everyone.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Sea_Ashley:  Lol my mom does the same thing, and what is weird is DH’s mom isn’t like that so he gets annoyed with my mom easily.

For instance when we went to WI last weekend to get puppy, we ran into bad weather coming back, and she was constantly calling and texting. I just asked her how the weather was and she said “lots of rain. Remember don’t drive into a flooded street and drive really slow.” Of course I am smart enough to know that, and I know she knows that I am smart enough, but it is a motherly thing. I let her go because I’m glad she cares enough about it. Plus, sometimes when I don’t ask for advice she ends up giving some pretty good advice anyway.

Post # 10
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sea_Ashley:  My mom is an alcoholic/pill abuser and chronic liar.

Yeah, I’d say I have a few stories.

Post # 11
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sea_Ashley:  ….my Mom does this thing, and it made me insane to the point of violence…

We live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, and a lot of times, the wind will come blowing down those peaks and through town with a fury that can tip cars over…I hate it…I hate the way it messes up my hair, I hate the way it makes your car shake and shimmy, it moves the furniture on the deck and makes the house creak and groan….I don’t know why, it disturbs my normal zen like demeanor…and every time I would complain about the wind my mother would look at me and say,

“You know, they call the wind Mariah.”

Grrrrrrr!  What does that even mean?  I hate Paint Your Wagon!  Why do you always say that????

And then, she got really sick….and no one could figure out what it was…and last summer I was literally watching my Mom wither away….and we went to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona where they figured it out, but she needed so much help…surgery and plasma transfusions and blood pressure medication and oxygen…and I couldn’t stay with her the whole time, which almost killed me….and I couldn’t talk to her every day which made me crazy and it got to the point where I was a walking, talking neurotic mess….and then one windy day, she calls me, cause she’s finally feeling better and in our conversation the blustery nature of the day comes up….

“You know Nona…they call the wind Mariah.”

I fell to my knees crying in a parking lot…cause I knew my Mom was back and I’ve loved those words ever since…

I guess my point is, she’s going to make you nuts with her No! DUH!  Advice…but there’ll come a moment when you realize you don’t get that forever…and you’ll wish to god your Mom was there to tell you the reason your wipers don’t work is because the reservoir is empty…not because you can’t figure that out…but because its your Mom telling it to you….so let it make you crazy…I get it, someday, you’ll miss it.

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