- 3 years ago
I am finally writing the post that I originally joined wedding bee to write but was too nervous to share until now after forming some friendships with some great bees that made me trust this forum. So, I recently got engaged to my best friend and boyfriend. Same person! Ha!
However, once I told my parents about my engagement, things went downhill very quickly. My mother insisted that I was going to get divorced because I am too young (I’m 24, and we’re waiting at LEAST another year) and that I have basically signed up to be a divorcee before my thirties because I am not waiting until I am thirty one (which is when she got married). Things were very upsetting for me for quite awhile.. I did not have doubts about my fiance, but I felt so much anxiety that my Mother would think I was too young and making a mistake.
The first few days after I told my mom, I cried constantly. Nonstop tears basically. Her approval is very important to me. However, after awhile, I realized that her only holdback was that I am young.. Yes, I am 24. However, I helped raise my siblings at a very young, worked running a daycare, had many full time jobs, went to college at 15, etc. Her only comment has been that I’m young and I haven’t dated enough people. (Dated around 15-20 people, three relationships). She cannot make any comments about my fiance or how he is wrong for me! Because there is none to make!
She has not made any comments about my fiance at ALL. He has graduated from a very prestigious university, got an incredible job right out of college, and has been working ever since. She has even admitted that he is obviously crazy about me and is very respectful and well mannered. He treats me as if I am the only woman in the world. He is so old fashioned and a true gentleman which is so hard to find in this day and age! He really gets me and lets me be the nerd that I am.. I’ve never felt so fun and playful before either. Most people say that I am very tightly wound (Comes from maturing so fast and helping out so much, I suppose), and he brings out the playful side in me that I thought was long lost. We chase each other around furniure and I pretend to be a zombie and try to get him. We’re definitely that annoying couple that roughhouses and wrestles and jokes way too much. We’re both pretty athletic so we have five hour bike rides in the mountains and lots of amazing kayaking trips. I am not a very emotional person, and he brings out the cheesy romantic sappy side in me. One time I was so excited to see him, that I just completely tossed my cookies. Not my best moment…
I am just absolutely crazy about him and he has helped me become a happier and better person. My siblings have commented on how relaxed and happy I am all the time and how it has been such a positive change. When me and him don’t see each other for awhile (kinda long distance), they will comment that I need to see him so I can be calm again.. We’ve been together almost a year and a half. My extended family loves him and calls him the “beloved grandson that they always wanted.” One side of my family was so excited that they threw an INCREDIBLE surprise engagement party. My sweet old grandma cried after a family trip we were on where he had to leave. His family has also welcomed me in with open arms. His parents slip up and call me their daughter sometimes. I am in loveeeeeee with his extended family as well. I have never been treated so well in my life. I have dated many great guys, but he really is just a keeper. Previously, I dated someone for quite some time who didn’t make me a priority in his life. It was always friends and job first and I was running dead last. My fiance treats me like I am his top priority, and it feels so amazing to have that in my life. Both my fiance and I take marriage very seriously. Divorce is just not an option to either of us. We plan to start a family in the next 4-6 years. Whenever we are finacially stable and ready. We plan to live in a city between both of our respective jobs and commute to work.
Should I be strong and ignore these comments? Is 24 too young to be engaged? I really feel in my heart that this is right.. Is it wrong for me to be happy and living my own life?? Are a lot of bees going without family support as well?
(In writing this.. I just realized “Wow! I sound like a kid and idiot because I’m worrying about my parents approval!” But my family is very important to me, and I would worry about their approval at any age. I helped raise my siblings and we’re very tight knit. Please go easy on me!)