Post # 1
Hello there, first post! 🙂 I am excited to start wedding planning but have already run into the first big decision. My fiance and I would like to either plan a destination wedding, partly brecause we love the idea and partly because we would only want a few close family members there. BUT…. we also don’t know how much it would mean to us to do a wedding locally and have extended family be a part of it. Just having trouble deciding before we tell family members who may or may not be able to fly out with us if we pick the destination one. I guess this choice will just be more clear as time goes on but I’m wondering if any other bees out there made a choice to have a much smaller wedding/reception and regretted it? OR… was it a good decision on your part/less stress/etc?
Also…. how many brides have planned a wedding without traditional roles in the wedding? No head table, bridesmaids, etc? I can’t choose between my best friends so I’m probably going to have these girls be a part of the wedding but not have actual roles assigned.
Any advice on getting a feel of what I want my non-traditional wedding to be like? I have to say I’m at a loss of ideas right now since I’m one of those girls who’s never, ever planned her wedding through the years. 😛
Thanks for input and I look forward to hearing your unique wedding ideas or what you did if you dreaded the typical cookie-cutter wedding!
Post # 3
We opted for a DH wedding for a few reasons.
One was cost. While the wedding was more than we expected to pay, 1/3 of the budge was our trip/honeymoon (10 days) and another 1/3 was our parents’ trips (we wanted to pay for those).
Two, we’re both kind of shy people. I never wanted a ton of people at my wedding because I didn’t want 200 people staring at me. I thought a more intimate setting would work better.
Three, we couldn’t really have a “local” wedding. We live in Missouri, which is where most of DH’s family lives. However I’m from Connecticut, where ALL my family is. Either way one side of the family would of had to travel if we had a wedding in the States.
We had 13 people at our wedding and it was VERY low-key. We each only had one attendant. For our reception, we just went to a restaurant after so we didn’t have speeches, head table, etc.
One thing to note on your friends. My advise is if you do have a DW, I’d make sure they will definitely come before you ask them to be in the wedding. A DW is a big commitment for a guest.
Post # 4
We are getting married in his hometown, Wisconsin.
His family is a lot bigger but we still wanted a small wedding under 40 guests. We are not doing a bridal party, only my son and his dog will stand with us.
We aren’t doing a full reception party, instead we are having a reception dinner at an upscale cafe. We are going to have a private room with a buffet style dinner. This way people will still be able to get up and mingle.
We found a great park pavillion that was super inexpensive to rent for the day. Plus it’s right on the lake. It provides rain coverage and even a fireplace.
Since we will be in his hometown, his mom is throwing a day after reception for extended family
Post # 5
I wish we eloped or had a DW. Socializing exhausts me and the planning stresses me out. I haven’t gotten marrieed yet so I can’t chime in on whether or not everything is worth it but it seems like it is for a lot of Bees. Only you can decide if it is worth it to have your extended family and friends with you on the day of your wedding. My best friend just eloped in Hawaii and she lights up everytime she talks about it. She is having a cheap at home reception next week- a keg of beer, some bbq and an ipod playlist. This may also be an option for you if you want to have it both ways.
As far as the bridal party is concerned- there are a lot of horror stories out there of friends not living up to expectations or whatever. I do not have a bridal party but my friends do still help out with ideas and projects, I just don’t expect it of them. I am slightly freaking out about the fact that no one will be walking down the aisle before me but they love that they didn’t have to spend money on an outfit they will never wear again 🙂
I am sorry if I sound so anti-wedding. I am 2 months away and feeling the stress. I am excited to spend the rest of my life with FI. Only you can decide what you want your wedding to be but make sure it truly reflects you. I am settling for much more of a traditional wedding to appease my FI and his fmaily and it has been nothing but a headache for the past year. I am sure I will have an amazing time on the actual day and I hope that makes everything worthwhile.
To answer your questions about what makes our wedding unique or less cookie cutter… we are having our ceremony at a greenhouse at 9am with a female officiant. Afterwards we are hanging out at the zoo for awesome pictures. Our reception is in our backyard and we will be serving Famous Daves and cupcakes (that is the part I am most excited for!). We will have lawn games, board games and card games (maybe video games too) in addition to the traditional dancing and mingling. Afterwards, since it ends at 5pm, we will probably go to a local bowling alley.
You don’t have to play by any wedding rules and can make your wedding whatever you want it to be. So how would you like to celebrate? Alone with FI, only with immediate family and close friends? With everyone you have ever met? At your favorite restaraunt, in your backyard, in an exotic location, or at a banquet hall? Do you like DIY projects? Do you want a formal event or casual? Offbeatbride.com is a good resource for non-traditional wedding planning.
Post # 6
Thank you all for the ideas and inspiration! Miss Tatas, I loved the website! 🙂
I totally agree with you on the sounding anti-wedding bit. :/ I feel like a bad female to not be excited or thrilled over a traditional wedding. Honestly, FH and I aren’t attention-loving people and the thought of so many people watching scares me, too.
I guess the trick is to find a happy medium… where I feel like the wedding is still a celebration…. without having all the ceremony or headache of it all.