How to do a big rehearsal dinner without spoiling the wedding reception

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I can see where you are coming from and it’s probably not fun to have the rehearsal dinner upstage the wedding. I do see one major flaw with their plan, hosting 60 plus people for a multicourse dinner will take hours. It doesn’t make sense to have people out for several hours it takes to do that the night before the wedidng, esp as from what I gather the night before the wedding many oot guest will be coming in.

We had a fancy steakhouse for our rehearsal dinner as well. Here is what we did, grandparents, parents, wedding party, siblings, readers were invited to a late lunch before the rehearsal. Then my uncle hosted a simple welcome dinner where people could come and go. He had chicken wings, burgers, and some grilled seafood, with wine and beers for about two hours, and we had less of our oot guest

Is it possible they can host a  lunch  for the bridal party and family who more then likely will be in town early for the rehearsal. Then host a small welcome party with a couple of passed ordurves and drinks for an hour or two.

Post # 4
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t think that you need to worry about the rehearsal dinner outshining the wedding. It will be a completely different vibe…will there be dancing at the reception? Music, dancing, cake cutting and a more celebratory atmosphere will make it a completely different evening than the rehearsal dinner. I doubt anyone will be comparing the two. I’ve been to rehearsal dinners at fancy restaurants that had better food than the wedding the next day, but I never thought about it in those terms. 

Post # 5
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@mrsgroomzilla:  Would the parents consider switching events (his parents host the reception, your parents host the rehearsal)?  Since your FI’s parents are paying, I feel that they should get the say.  From what you’ve written, it seems like they want their son to have a really fancy dinner for their guests.

Post # 6
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Your FIs parents want to host the rehersal dinner and your parents want to host the wedding reception. You can’t really ask one party to change their vision so that it doesn’t offend the other party, because in the hopes of making one side (your parents) happy you are intentionally hurting the other side (his parents). I would just let each set of parents host the event they are comfortable hosting.

Post # 7
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@mrsgroomzilla:  That sucks  :/  I hope you can find an amicable solution.

I will say, I don’t think there’s any way the rehearsal dinner can upstage the wedding though.  The wedding reception has such an air of love and celebration, because it comes directly after the ceremony and people are all hopped up on emotion.  Add in nice decorations and the traditional reception events (first dance, cake cutting, etc) and it makes for a really really special night.

We had a welcome dinner for about 80% of the guest list (whoever was around) the night before, and I was initially worried about upstaging.  Not because it was fancy, but because it was at the same location and I thought the wedding the next day might be “been there done that”.  Definitely did not feel that way at all for the reasons above.

Good luck  xoxo

Post # 8
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m with sarals24 here.

It sounds like the rehearsal dinner is just that: dinner. 

You’ll have a lot more going on at the actual reception the next day.  The food, though important, will only be part of the bigger picture of your reception (I’m assuming you’re having dancing, toasts, cake).

Since FILs are paying, they should be given this one.  Unless your parents have a major inferiority complex, there will be so much going on the next day and them feeling so proud of you that I think the food will be the least of their concerns.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is a completely different vibe, so since your FI’s parents are paying they technically get the say unless you don’t want to go through with a dinner. I can see where your disappointment would stem from, but I assure you people will not think about it when they are at the wedding, and the wedding is a perfect opportunity for you to personally thank yoour parents for an absolutely lovely reception that you wouldn’t change a thing about. That will make them feel good 🙂

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