How to do a good memorial for love ones without it getting too depressing

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jbbs1222:  

 

Ours wasn’t really a memorial, but we had a shelf with wedding/couple pictures of our parents, grandparents etc. It fit the theme of a wedding, and was way I felt was nice to include them in our day.

 

 

I also made a bouquet charm of my husbands grandparents (his grandfather, who my husband is named after, has passed away; his grandmother is in her 90s and couldn’t make it) whose anniversary we were married on. You could have a charm for your dad, and maybe a special pin or set of cuff links for your FIs grandmother if you are interested in something that is a little more subtle. My MIL showed off my charm a lot because she was so touched by it, so others can see them as well if you want to involve your familiy in the memorializing. 

 

Good luck!

 

Post # 4
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

As of right now, we’ll be remembering 3 of my grandparents and my uncle. FIs very lucky in that the last family member to pass was his great grandfather and he doesn’t even remember it. I’m thinking of displaying a family tree. Put couple and individual pictures up of our immediate families with those who’ve gone in special frames or marked in some other way from our great grandparents down to us.

Post # 5
Member
2338 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I went a wedding last week that just had a sign that said “We know you’d be here today, if heaven weren’t so far away…” and a small bouquet of flowers infront of it. there was a flower for each of the people they were remembering, they were all different colors (It was a small bouquet of roses, five different color roses, for their grandparents and the bride’s father). It was simple, it was obviouss it meant something, and it was very cute. I really liked it.

Post # 6
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are doing a memory table with photos of loved ones we have lost, including all our grandparents (FI’s grandma passed in December, while mine was last April) as well as FI’s aunt who passed away two years ago.  I have seen some different verses/poems on Pinterest and the like, but we are just having a sign that says “In Loving Memory”.

Post # 7
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

You could do a memorial table at the reception; at the ceremony you could have a moment of silence at the beginng for “those who cannot be with us today,” or something to that effect, or maybe put something to that effect in the program (like have a “dedication” section where you thank everyone who helped and dedicate the ceremony to those who have passed). Also you could save the first seat on your side and the first seat on his side and put a rose for each person who has passed. Any or all of these would work, I think.

Post # 8
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@jbbs1222:  one of my best friends passed away very young at 21 and i’m having difficulties thinking of ways to honor her without me losing my composure during my wedding, not to mention grandparents (not to sound insensitive but I get way more emotional over the loss of my friend because my grandma and 2 grandpas passed away when I was very young/not born yet). thanks for starting this thread. i’m hoping well get some good ideas from other bees on this senstive subject

Post # 9
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The memorial is truly meant to be there for you and your groom.  Memorialize the people who are there with you in spirit in any way you choose.  My husband and I eloped (just the two of us).  Both his parents and my father are deceased and my mother is still with us.  Because none of them were there we had them mentioned in the vows (just a short sentence) and I orderd a bouquet charm and boutinnere charm from etsy with pictures of each couple. 

Post # 10
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had a table with wedding pictures from my grandparents, MIL & FIL and my parents… My grandma’s sister and an aunt also wanted to join in and did.

 

I recommend doing this… and for the recently deceased grandma, leave a chair in the ceremony with a lit candle… 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I like the table with the little things and photos and maybe a note or poem.

My mom, grama and grampa have passed away. I wouldn’t do the empty seat thing, I think that is SO sad. I can’t imagine looking over all night and thinking “they should be sitting there..”
I went to a wedding that had an empty seat for her dad and it almost made ME cry and I didn’t even know him (or the bride). I think it’s too sad.

Post # 13
Hostess
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We just had a mention in the vows about people who can’t be there because my mother passed away and I didn’t want anything more but I know people want more.

Post # 14
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I did bouquet charms for my grandma and great grandma. Something small, most people didn’t see them, but my grandma and mom/aunts/assorted other family loved them.

Post # 15
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jbbs1222:  weddings are not funerals. Don’t make yours into one. Honor her and whomever else you lost in your hearts.

Post # 16
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are doing this…

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