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I've seen weddings where the parents give a gift (a necklace or chain) to the children and build it in as part of the ceremony after they exchange rings. Like making a promise to the kids too.
Aww! Thanks Jacqi! That's the kind of thing I was looking for!
Another suggestion would be to mention your children in the vows - you could promise to be good parents together and you, ProudPeacockBride, could say something special about welcoming your stepson officially into your family. You could also say vows TO the kids - it feels like your wedding is very much about your becoming a family, and not just you and your fiance, too. You may want to include this wording in your ceremony, too - that you're really creating a family today, not just the union of two people.
My other favorite ritual for including kids is the sand ceremony - I think it's such a fun, sweet, and physical way to show everyone coming together!
We are probably going to pour liquids of different colors into some sort of container to show that 5 different people will come together to form one new unit. Oddly enough our favorite colors (pink, blue, red, light blue, and purple) will combine to a light purple color.
we are doing a sand ceremony..... you can google it and get tons of readings and ideas but basically ... you need a pretty Vase Jar some sort of glass container to hold your sand and containers to pour from with a different color sand for each person
This can be optional but the officiant will pour white sand in first to signify god and the foundation of your marriage
Then the bride , groom, & each child would take a turn pouring a small amount of sand in ...making a layered effect to represent each of you as an individual
Then you all pour together blending all the different colors of sand in together to represent the blending and joining of your family.
It also makes a really nice keepsake... we chose a decorative container with a lid found at a consignment shop & we got tall skinny vases from dollar tree to pour from
I have girls so I'm not sure if this will help, but weare getting them necklaces (with a circle of diamonds or their birthstome) and having something said during the ceremony like "This symbolizes our never ending love and commit to this family"
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Ok - I've got another question...
My fiance' and I have a 3 year old son together, and he has a 10 year old son from a previous relationship. I really want the boys to be part of the ceremony and reception. I'm putting "with our children" on our invitations and am having one of those custom cake toppers with the kids on it made. But other than that - does anyone have an interesting way to make the kids feel like it's their day too? I mean, after all, this is a "family affair!" Maybe a cool way to have them help in the ceremony, other than being a ring bearer. Thanks everyone!