- 2 years ago
I came to this site almost two years ago when I was coping with “waiting” and the excitement which came with it. My fiancé had become a new person…. So I thought. He got heavy into church and volunteering, and eventually proposed. But something seemed a little “off” after a few !months. I shrugged it off.
Within a few months he hounded me with questions on when our date was, if I picked us a place to live and what my plans were for returning back to school. The pressure was on and turned up as his family probed for responses to the same questions. Which in turn, he shrugged and said “its up to her.”
Then came the arguing. He started accusing me of checking out other men, wanting to be with other people, not wanting to marry him. Suddenly a trip to the gas station or to dinner with him became a chore. I was emotionally drained because of him being so stubborn, and wanting to always be right. He would point and criticize and use the silent treatment as a punishment so to speak. We never went to therapy because even that became a argument. Each fight was followed up with a gift and plea on his behalf for me to not be upset. This scares me because my abusive dad and ex did the same thing.
The break came when he threw another one of his infamous tantrums – yes, tantrums by walking off and leaving me in public because of a movie he wanted to see. He called me selfish and inconsiderate for not getting there in time after mandatory overtime at work and accidentally falling asleep. He asked for his ring back and I haven’t felt bad about returning it since. This was last week.
I am no llonger sexually attracted to him because we argued so much and he imposed so many demands and refused to be held accountable for anything while we’ve been engaged.
How do I announce to coworkers family and friends we won’t be getting married? How do I return gifts? Our day has come and gone. I’m already depressed about that.