Post # 1
I just got off the phone with FSIL to tell her we were going to do the ritual of exchanging coins. She had this at her wedding and hoped we would too. After I told her she said “great! That can be after the lasso ritual, but before the flowers you take to Mary and the unity candle.”
I wasn’t planning on doing all of that. We are not having a full mass, and I’m painfully nervous with all eyes on me. These are also cultural traditions, not catholic ones. I feel like I’m dissapointing FI’s side of family because he has four sisters who all did every ritual.
Post # 3
Just don’t do them. I am usually a direct person but when I KNOW someone is going to have a contrary opinion, and especially if it is about something as personal as your wedding ceremony, a) don’t bring it up and B) be non-commital if asked “Well, we are discussing what we want to include in our wedding ceremony and that might be an option”.
Also, totally only ever heard of presenting flowers to Mary and unity candle, I am trying to figure out how to include a lasso in a wedding and none of them seem church appropriate.
Post # 4
Don’t do them. They’ve seen this done four times, there are not being deprived by not seeing it a fifth.
Does it matter to him? IF not then surely don’t do it. They will just have to get over it.
Post # 5
@Leemarie: If it doesn’t mean anything to you and you FI don’t do it.
Post # 6
@chasesgirl: It’s a Mexican tradition. “Lasso” is the English translation of lazo, which means “rope/tie/lace” in Spanish and refers to almost anything you can tie, not just a cowboy’s lasso (i.e. a shoelace is also a lazo). In a wedding ceremony, the lazo is a double rosary. One loop is draped over the bride and the other one over the groom, symbolically linking them together.
@Leemarie: It sounds like you are marrying into a Mexican/Latino family, but you yourself are something else? In that case, it’s totally appropriate to say something like, “We’re incorporating one of the Mexican wedding traditions, but not all of them, since it’s not something my side does.” (If there’s a tradition from your side that you can incorporate somewhere to balance it out, even if it’s at the reception rather than the ceremony, that can make for a good explanation, too.)
Post # 7
@KCKnd2: Yes you’re right and that’s what I was struggling with-pleasing them but also not going overboard trying to please them with a slew of traditions that are not mine. FI and I found a happy medium. We will take floweres to Mary since both of our families are catholic(this seemed the most meaningful) and the unity candle to incorporate both sides of our families. 🙂