Post # 1
Ok, so I have a family member who apparently assumes that she is invited to our wedding (she also is the only one who keeps asking wedding related questions EVERY time I talk to her), but she isn’t. In order to keep our guest list down, we decided to only invite grandparents, parents, siblings and a few close friends. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, etc will be invited to a more casual family celebration at another time (because when we added it all up, as soon as we started inviting aunts/uncles/cousins, our guest list ballooned to almost 300 people). I’m not quite sure how to break this news to her – she will be quite upset and we can’t exactly make an ‘exception’ for her because it will cause more family drama and probably a rift.
Thoughts on how to tell her?
Post # 3
I would just tell her that you are keeping it small and intimate and that you are so sorry but you can’t make exceptions.
Post # 4
I would tell her exactly what you wrote above — that you are keeping the ceremony to immediate family, but to keep an eye out for an invitation to your post-wedding reception. You can chalk it up to finances, the size of the venue you are getting married at, or any other factor that she cannot change so she cannot argue with it. Good luck!
Post # 5
Next time she brings up wedding plans, just tell her it’s going to be a small intimate ceremony with imidiate family. But be sure to tell her there will be a family celebration later that she’s invited to. She should understand.
Post # 6
Are you getting married in a church or in the court house? I know I have a lot of relatives but with aunts, uncles, cousins that alone is only like 90 people. Then there are friends and such. I mean why don’t you want to invite your extended family?
Post # 7
I agree with the other ladies. If a family member of mine was getting married, honestly, I would automatically assume I was invited to the wedding. If I was you, I would try to figure out some way to spread the word to family that the wedding is going to be small, intimate and will only be immediate family, to expect a separate reception for all family and friends.
Post # 8
I would also assume I was invited to a cousin or aunt or uncle’s wedding, someone on that level of family. Therefore, I don’t think she is crazy to assume. You need to get the word out that you wedding will be very small, and then let everyon know you will be having a party afterwards. Can you enlist your parents’ help to tell their siblings?
Post # 9
I agree with the other bees on telling her what you told us. And the sooner the better.
Post # 10
I agree with enlisting the help of your parents (whoever is the aunt’s sibling) – I don’t think she’ll be the only one assuming she’ll be invited (she’s just the most vocal one). We only invited 2 aunts/uncles from both sides of my family bc everyone would have been 60 people and with a 100 person guest list that was too many. My mother sent out a pre-emptive email to her family once the invites went out, letting them know. It was very diplomatic and people were very understanding. You might want to consider doing something like this?