How to explain to MOH/sister that friend will make toast instead? (long)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Instead of informing her that she can’t why don’t you let her know you don’t expect her to make a toast so she has an out?  I did that for my MOH and she was very appreciative because she didn’t want to give a toast.

Post # 3
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

I think it’s sweet that you’ve included your family even though they’re not very close to you! To ease the situation, with a smaller bridal party I’d recommend maybe letting everyone make a short toast. That way it doesn’t seem like you’re intentionally excluding your half sister and there’s less pressure for her to be THE toaster. I think that’s what I’d do in your shoes! Best of luck to you in this difficult situation. 

Post # 4
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Mode:  Why not have her give a speech at all? I was just at a wedding where only the best man gave one. I don’t see a problem with it. 

Post # 6
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Our best man was the only one to  give a speech.  I don’t really get why it’s a big deal if she does do the speech, it’s really only a few minutes out of your night and she can’t possibly eff it up so badly as to take away from your day 

Post # 7
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would keep it to just the best man. Makes it the least complicated. 

Post # 12
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Do you actually really want the close friend to speak or was that just a filler? If you really want them to speak I don’t see why you couldn’t offer your sister an easy “hey, I don’t expect you to make a speach, don’t want to add to your stress etc etc” Then if she still wants to make a speech (it might be really important to her! She might see this as a really important step in your bonding) she can say so and do so. Then you’ll have two people speaking on your side. Or just one if your sister wants to speak and your friend was just a filler.

Post # 13
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Mode:  Just saw this. I would be open to the possibility that you might have two speeches.

Post # 14
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

Don’t say anything about a speach unless she brings it up.  The only duties a MOH has is to buy the agreed upon dress in the agreed upon budget, show up on time for the ceremony, walk down the aisle, and pose for pictures.  A MOH does not have to give a speach.  If she offers to give one, I wouldn’t tell her no as that might hurt her feelings and create a wedge between you two.  

Post # 5
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

She migth be relieved that she doesn’t have to. Just be honest with her. Tell her that your friend would like to give a toast, so she doesn’t have to. If she seems put out or says she wants to, then let her. Otherwise I think it’s totally fine.

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