(Closed) How to find a Pre-Marital Counselor

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Our officiant found someone near us (destination wedding) through his church. We’re starting our premarital counselling this fall. If you have an officiant they might have some reccomendations. If you go to church/temple ect. they might also have some suggestions about people they like.

Post # 4
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

We’re doing a workbook at home together, mostly because we are cheap. It’s called “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.” The book that goes with it is kind of old-fashioned–lots of traditional gender roles and they assume no one is having sex before marriage, because you can’t talk specifics until after the wedding. 🙂 The workbook exercises have been really good though. We have a good relationship but have the same 3 or 4 fights over and over and we’ve found it’s given us really helpful ways to talk about things with a different perspective. There was a really interesting web-based pre-test that we really enjoyed talking about. We feel like we’re making progress. Not counseling, but we’ve found it helpful and something like that (there are tons of them, we read some good reviews and picked this one adn like it) might be a good way to start. They also have lists of people who are certified in their style of counseling too if you wanted to do full counseling.

Post # 7
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am catholic so we are required to go though per-marital counseling. And our priest has told us that while he does this for catholic couples, he also has some non-catholic couples he counsels. So call around to the churches in the area (they don’t have to be catholic) and see if they offer it. If not, try the catholic churches if you are comfortable with it. (This counseling is free for us, and I wouldn’t think they would charge for non-catholic couples. )

I promise I am not trying to push Catholicism on you, but my FI have gotten so much out of our counseling we feel every couple should go through it. Because even though we had discussed most of the topics covered. There were some we had not even thought of!

On top of counseling sessions, there are also engaged encounter retreats across the country! Here is the website, maybe there is one close to you? http://www.engagedencounter.org/

When we did our engaged encounter there were a few non-catholic couples there. (There is a charge for this option because it is over a weekend and includes lodging and meals.)

Post # 9
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would also consider a regular/standard marriage/family therapist too. I agree there’s not a whole lot of reviews out there (partially because people don’t actually want to admit they go to therapy). I found a great one in my area via Google actually. I did a search for local marriage/family therapists and cross-referenced it with my insurance company. I really liked her website and her approach (I firmly believe you can get a good idea of people through their websites) and that’s why I picked her. She did have some anonymous reviews on her website from existing happy clients, but I don’t usually take those into account.

 

Post # 10
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@liliwo2016:  The great thing about the engaged encounters is that they work like this: a topic is presented, you and your FI separately journal you thoughts on the topic and then your FI and you discuss yourfeelings privately. So if it is not something you find affects you then you can skip that and choose to discuss a different topic individually. 

Post # 11
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The AAMFT (American association of marriage and family therapists) has resources on their website to help you find a therapist in your area, I think if you want to work on communication there is really no substitute for an actual in-person therapist (though workbooks and whatnot are certainly not a bad idea and can be helpful, just not the same). Good luck!

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