- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
My FI and I went to the tux rental shop (Men’s Wearhouse) we’re planning on renting from last night, just to see their selection. We’re using David’s Bridal for our bridesmaids dresses, so we knew that MW stuff would match, and I’ve been asking my girls whether they’d like to wear golden, latte, or mix it up with both. We were chatting with the MW saleslady, and she asked me about the colors. I piped up with golden or latte, and she immediately started showing us stuff.
I kept asking my FI which combinations he liked, but he just kept saying he didn’t care, he thought it would all look fine, told me to pick the one I liked. The saleslady was pressing for the gold, and I thought it looked fine to me — I didn’t balk when she wrote it down on her sheet. Ten minutes into the car ride home, my FI reveals that the gold is the absolute last color he would ever have picked for himself.
We’ve gone round and round about it since — I feel like I didn’t give him enough info about the colors to start with and I can tell he felt pressured to pick something that he could see I liked — he’s really shy, so I can see how he’d feel weird about speaking up in a situation that he feels like is “bride territory” even though it’s guys’ clothes. I told him we could just call them back and change to another color, but I think he’s decided to be stubborn and just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore because he insists that he doesn’t want anything other than the gold because it’s what I picked.
I really don’t want him to feel uncomfortable on our wedding day and for him to wear something he likes, but he’s just quit offering any opinions on it. What can I do to find a solution that will make him feel more comfortable if he’s just pulling out of the decision altogether? I hate to make any decisions without his ok, like calling up MW and telling them to change his vest and tie to a different color without asking him first, but I know he’s not being honest about his true feelings just to try to make me happy.
Maybe waiting a while and talking about it after a little time has passed would help? We’ve got eight months, after all — we weren’t even planning to try to figure his and his groomsmen’s stuff out last night, we just sort of stumbled into it.
What would you bees do?