Post # 1
Most of you know that my MOH dropped out of the wedding. It hurt, I was/am sad. I texted my MIL in SC to tell her as she has been an amazing help in the planning process since we are getting married at the resort where she lives. 2 of FI’s cousins (who I have met at holidays etc.) were visiting her and, immediately volunteered. They truly care and while FI isn’t “close” with them, he isn’t close with any of his family. I guess until I came into the picture, he never even went to Christmas.
They are great girls and I have always liked them. They are 19 and 20. (I would not have one without the other). Both girls go to college about 2 hours away from our home.
I am a strong believer in that school comes first. FI has 3 groomsmen. I currently have 3 maids. Numbers and even sides don’t matter to us. I would like to find a spot for the girls. But I think that having them as bridesmaids is a big responsibility, especially with school. Finals are the week before the wedding. Plus school is expensive and I know they are both working hard to pay for that. I would be willing to help with their dresses and they are traveling with their parents and such.
So I would like them to be similar to a bridesmaid.. but minus the responsibility and stress. Not that they couln’t handle it. They are so responsible and grown up, I know they would do whatever was needed of them. Would I call them a bridesmaid? Something different? I would love to find them a nifty little moniker.
Post # 3
I had 2 girls as personal attendants. They wore their own dresses that matched the colors of the bridesmaids, were in some pictures, and were there all day to help out with little things, like handing out programs, etc.
Post # 4
Idk I think I would feel like I got the shaft if I volunteered to help and then got the title of personal assistant. To me thats like saying well I dont want you as a bridesmaid but feel obligated to give you some title.
I know that thats not the case with you as you said the reason is school, but thats just how I would take it if I were in their shoes.
But at 19 and 20 if they are responsible like you say then they can handle having more on their plates. They could always be bridesmaids and still do whatever you think is fitting of them.
I know when I was 19/20 I would have LOVED to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 5
You could just called them “wedding attendants” however it’s just an old term for “bridesmaid.” Honestly, it sounds like they want to be bridesmaids so I don’t think there is any harm in giving them the title but being very frank with them about not having high expectations that they do anything beyond their means. They are probably excited at the prospect of getting to dress up and participate! 🙂
Post # 6
Yeah, I think you should still make them bridesmaids! They would love it. You have your other girls to do all of the more involved things for the wedding. Let these girls help out the few days leading up to the wedding and have them stand up there with you. That’s what I would do.
Post # 7
Why not have them as ushers? My sisters are much younger than me and there was no way I could make them bridesmaids but they were far to old to be flower girls so we made them the ushers. Who says men have to be ushers anyway? They are excited about it and are dressing as if they are in the bridal party.
Post # 8
The attendants idea is nice… but it sounds a little “butler-esqe” to me. I am going to skype with them tonight and see what they want to be called. Who knows, maybe they have something creative.
I think I am going to have them in a different dress from the Bridesmaids. Some dressy-ness and colors, just a different style.
I talked with FMIL this morning while they were at the beach. She said they were really hoping to just get to go and that they really wanted to do something to help us out, but didn’t want to step on my toes or ask FI and be rude. So I think they are going to be really excited. With all that I have going on right now in my life (more non-wedding family falling apart related stuff)…. This feels so good to have 2 girls who don’t share any blood with me, accept me and want to be apart of this.