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How to Gently (or, failing that, Surgically) Alter His Opinion

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    Sugar bee
    LittlestBirds    July 24, 2010   Seattle, WA

    I thought I'd be going nuts trying to drag a single opinion out of FI about our wedding planning. Isn't he the one who's always saying "Whatever you want to do will be just fine?" So why now does he suddenly have an opinion about style, and that opinion happens to be directly opposed to mine!

    FI is a sensible man, and can almost always be persuaded by a well-reasoned logical argument. So help me - what points should I line up in defense of the following:

    • Elegant-yet-country-chic! This is my vision for the wedding, and so far everything I find delightfully charming gets nothing more than a skeptically raised eyebrow from him. Which brings me to...
    • MASON JARS! He seems to think they look less like country-chic and more like country-stupid. He was not amused when I told him I just might love mason jars more than I love him.
    • Flowers (just in general. He considers them his mortal enemy due to the pollen. It goes deep, mentally speaking. Therapy could become involved on this one).

    I showed him a few pics, including Trail Mix's and Cherry Pie's posts on mason jars. He budged slightly (the eyebrow raise was less high than normal.) Any other tips?

     
    2.
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    Sugar bee
    luli29    October 9, 2010   Massachusetts

    awww..if you showed him pics and he doesn't like them, its really probably a matter of taste.

    Have you let him come up with photos of what he envisions. Maybe it turns out that you'll like them and come come up with an agreement?

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    oh i have this issue too. who would have thought a boy could care so much about weddings? i just count myself as one of the lucky ones and move onto my next idea. because in reality, you probably don't love mason jars more than you love him, and it is his wedding too. so more power to him for wanting to be a part of it.

     
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    Worker bee
    Shelbybell    June 28, 2008   Philadelphia

    hmmmm- I bet if he went to a wedding that used those elements, and he could see them in person, he'd come around.  Maybe you could make some samples to show him your ideas in the real world?  I will tell you that my hubs didn't get/agree with a bunch of elements from our wedding, but after the wedding, when he saw it all come together, he loved it and admitted everything I did was great!!  I think it's hard for me to see our "vision"- in their defense, they haven't been plannign the wedding since age 5!  If he's being really adversarial on a silly detail-- I do think for the wedding, the bride gets the final say (I'm totally 50-50 in relationships, normally, but the wedding is an exception!).  Have fun!!

     

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