- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’ve posted about this a few times so sorry for boring you, but I’m having such a hard time getting closure over being dumped by my best friend of 20 years.
In a nutshell it’s this:
Best friends for 20 years, since high school. Shared soooo much together. Now in our mid thirties.
Was bridesmaid in her wedding – went above and beyond for her.
Attended her baby shower – went above and beyond.
Post baby birth she started getting very cold to me. No idea why. I say she had a baby and lost her mind. She really changed. Towards her husband and family and everyone. I know it’s life changing having a kid but she really got very ‘holier than thou’ about it. Told me I could never understand the precious miracle she was experiencing.
She really started to get cold and pull away.
Then I got engaged and asked her to be a bridesmaid. She was very excited for me at first and then it all changed.
I made many attempts to contact her and talk with her and then she’d come around, but then she would flip back again to being cold and non responsive. I was tripping over myself to try and understand and talk to her because I was trying plan my wedding and I was really upset over trying to figure out where her head was. I mean weeks would go by with no response to my messages at all.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt and kept her in my wedding, despite some rude remarks she made to me and being non responsive and un-involved and un-available. I just couldn’t imagine not having her in my wedding.
She started to participate a bit more and shows up and is great on my wedding day, even puts my veil on.
Then she ends our friendship immediately after the wedding was over, in an email. That I didn’t know what went on in her world over the last year (that her father in law had major surgery and that her cat died – I left her a message when I heard about that on fb and got no response) and that I should take a long hard look and life doesn’t stop to revolve around one event and maybe one day I’ll understand. And tells me never to contact her again (wow, drastic much?) and that she is blocking me from facebook and email. (Which she did). But when it was her wedding, she was so distracted and it was all she could talk about and I never punished her for that. So hypocritcal.
I don’t understand at all. I did nothing to deserve that kind of wrath! She is famous for her temper which I’ve seen many times over the years and her stubborness – she tends to shut off when she makes her mind up so there’s really no reasoning until she comes around on her own.
I’m having a hard time figuring what to do now and how to let it go. Just be angry and say F you have a nice life. Or try to contact her again? Maybe through mail…..she was ignoring my calls until she emailed me the break up email.
Maybe I just needed to vent again. Everyone I’ve talked to is pretty much shocked and appalled at her behaviour and says good riddance. But I’m really deeply hurt and feel so betrayed. What a blindside, I never saw it coming. I can’t stop thinking about it trying to process.