Post # 1
DH and I are a bit heavy. I lost 30 lbs before the wedding, and DH was planning on losing wieght too, but maybe lost ~5 – 10 lbs. Now, I love my DH absolutely just the way he is. He is also still in grad school, and been there myself, I know how stressful it is and how easy it is to eat unhealthy and not go to the gym (cuz your so damn busy!)
However, his doctor is really coming down hard on him to lose weight – this is the second time in the past few months he has gone to the doc with a health problem, and the second time the doc basicaly has said – “You’re too heavy. You lose weight, you will feel better.”
What could I do to support him, without being overbearing/annoying/controlling (like “you must eat this steamed broccoli and nothing else!”).
I’d rather not just leave it alone – if the docs warning did not do much good the first time, I’m not sure it will do any better the second time.
Post # 3
do you do the grocery shopping OP? if so.. chuck out ALL of the crap foods and you can buy healthier options.. if you know he will protest then make the change over a few week span so that he adjusts. You can also research tasty healthy fun to make meals and start making them together on weekends.. show him how yummy healthy food will be. Once you both get into a healthier diet and past the craving stage, you wont want junk food anymor.
Also, you cannot make him change, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOU… if he sees you making a big effort to change your eating habits and excersise habits and how happy and confident it makes you, he might also.
Starting that journey is scary and it is so hard to get motivated. If he has you than maybe he will change
Post # 4
I agree with this. If he takes food with him to school, find healthier options that are still quick and easy to eat. Make small changes over time. Get some snack foods that are tasty for him to try. (I love the sweet potato chips that Food Should Taste Good Makes, as well as kettle corn and Stacy’s Pita Chips.)
I try to buy snacks already packaged in smaller portions, or when I get home split things up into tupperware or ziplocs. DH won’t eat a whole bag of Doritos if they are already portioned out.
Maybe try cooking together, or if he doesn’t have the time, try switching out recipes or ingredients to make things he likes a bit more healthy.
Also, find some activities that might not seem like a workout, but that are active. Walking, biking (especially with a destination in mind), frisbee, rollerblading, hiking to a pretty spot, etc…) Things you can do together without going to the gym. It might motivate him to workout more if he has a tough time with the activity, or it might just be enjoyable to him and he’ll want to do it more.
Post # 5
Congrats on losing 30lbs! That’s awesome.
Unfortunately there’s not much you can do to motivate him to change. That has to come from within. Maybe you can “trick” him into doing small things to help himself. Think about what his vices are (snacking, fast food, beer, too much time on internet) and try to find alternatives. Take walks in the evenings together, don’t keep snack foods in the house, do something outdoors on the weekends, split desserts (if you’re used to eating them), go to bars and restaurants less often.
Whatever you do, try not to stress yourself out trying to force him to change. He has to be responsible for doing most of it on his own.
Post # 6
Thanks for the advice guys! We do go hiking on the weekend, but during the week, we are both at school until rather late – neither of us is motivated to work out after 8PM!
For the most part, we don’t keep unhealty food in the house. I talked with him tonight and asked if it was OK if I made small suggestions, and he said yes. So tonight I suggested he eat more green beans before going for a second helping of couscous. We’ll see how long this lasts before he starts getting annoyed 🙂
We also set a deadline (Oct. 1) to see how well he does with weight loss, and if it doesn’t seem to be happening, then he is going to see a nutritionalist.
Keeping my fingers crossed!
Post # 7
@Rock Hugger: A few healthy habits for everyone that could help
Start every meal with a salad or brothy soup. Then eat your “main meal”
Serve the meal in the kitchen and then eat at the table. Only put the veggies on the table for easy seconds. If either of you want seconds of anything else, you have to get up to get it. If its not in front of you, you are less likely to eat “just because”
Eat on smaller plates.
Studies show people eat more veggies if their are more options. So make 2-3 veggies each night. They can be easy. Roasted tomatoes and garlic green beans.
Stretch our your starches (the calorie dense foods) by mixing them with veggies. Same with proteins (IE grate carrot into your meatloaf or add roasted red peppers and onions to your pasta dish)
Prepack foods for snacks to keep with you while at school.
Post # 8
Does he want to lose weight? If yes, join Weight Watchers together.
If that won’t work – make a point of adding in yummy and healthy foods. Some things we’ve done – we started buying more fruit and try to eat that if we’re hungry mid-afternoon or after dinner. Dessert is typically a skinny cow or weight watchers ice cream treat. I try to start off dinner with a big salad course. I also “healthify” some of his favorite recipes, making them lower cal. For example, substituting fat-free Greek yogurt for sour cream and two egg whites rather than one whole egg.
Post # 9
The PP’s made really good suggestions and you should definitely try but at the end of the day, he has to want to do it. I’ve been in the working full time, grad school situation too. It happened to coincide with a period of my life when I was extremely active (I am desperately trying to get that back!) and I worked out in the AM before work or right before class or right after class. It was exhausting and time consuming but I felt so much better. There’s a reason stock brokers and traders are in great shape, working out helps to manage stress. Food changes are critical, of course. But I find that it is easier for me to manage my food when I’m also very active. I dont want to undo the work I’ve put in. Perhaps try to go to the gym together. It SUCKS to wake up an hour early when you’re so tired but at the end of the day, there will always be an excuse not to do it. Somehow, now that I have so much more free time I can barely make myself go to the gym 🙁 Good luck!!!