Post # 1
Last night, the SO and I had a fight. I told him outright that I feel like I’ve lost hope about ever getting engaged. Apparently, he had noticed the change in my attitude over the past few months and wished I’d be excited again. I said I wanted that too.
I’d love to blame it on the recent change of location/jobs for us both and the various family members getting sick/dying, but while those things are stressful and huge, the future-engagement shouldn’t have been effected because we’re on the same page: All pre-requisites have been met and he’s said he’s going to do it!
How do I convince myself to just get excited again? That there can be something new and wonderful to this whole waiting/engagement period? How do I fend off the feeling that perhaps I’m rushing into this or pushing too hard?
Post # 3
I’m a little confused, are you discouraged by waiting or by life in general or perhaps both? or something to do with your relationship?
If you’re feeling rushed, I think that’s often normal (thought perhaps not so much when you’re waiting!). All of these mile stones are great, but really just socially constructed. What is really important is the connection between you and your SO and the life you’re building together. Perhaps focusing on that and the exciting growth you are experiencing together will help perk you up!
Post # 4
@Helium: It’s unrealistic to be happy or excited all the time. Life gets in the way. I think you will start to get excited again, just stop putting pressure on yourself. When it happens you’ll be super excited 🙂
Post # 5
Just focus on the positive and don’t let the little things get you down. Don’t worry, you’ll get excited again. And your day will come, so just be patient and if necessary, nudge the SO every once in a while… albeit gently.
Post # 6
@MsCarabiner: I suppose “rushed” is the wrong feeling. I think I’m feeling overwhelmed by alot of things so right now I feel like taking on wedding planning would be just another stresser, even if I want to be his wife. Marriage = wonderful and exciting; engagement/planning a wedding = slightly scary/makes me nervous.
Thanks for the support! After a walk with the SO today, I realised I didn’t have to be excited, only content and hopeful, so I’m going to focus on that instead of being ‘excited’. 🙂