(Closed) How to get excited again

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Hermoine:  You are not alone, and definitely not being dramatic! Leading up to my own wedding, I felt the same way. It;s definitely a lot of pressure, and the people around you really affect your own excitement. I felt like every decision I made was questioned, and it was exhausting.

 

Even well-meaning comments can be taken the wrong way. For example, our church owned a beautiful hall that we rented for the reception… it wasn’t “at the church”, just owned by the church. Somehow FI’s family thought that this meant “no alcohol” and they asked us about it every time we saw them, leading up to the wedding. When we said that there would be a beer and wine bar, one of his relatives immediately said that he would just pay for a full bar (which he didn’t, anyway, but whatever). After constant comments and questions, it comes across as “the bar selection you picked wasn’t good enough” instead of “we’d like to help out”. 

 

It also doesn’t help that, when you are the bride-to-be, everyone seems to take your decisions the worst possible way, and blame you for it. FI and I planned our wedding together, but NO ONE was mad at him for anything. Your choices about the guest list, kids, +1’s… at least in my case things were taken as “you don’t like distant-grandmother-of-uncle-so-and-so” instead of “I don’t know her that well and we can’t invite everyone that we have ever encountered”.

 

Planning your wedding is seriously an additional full time job, on top of your normal job/life, and if you ACTUALLY had a second job or worked the equivalent amount of hours (which you might!), people would understand that you are stressed, tired, and “working too much”, but since it’s about a WEDDING you’re expected to suck it up. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I kept waiting for that magical feeling of “being a bride” and it never happened. The wedding was happy, we got married, etc, but the feeling of “I’m getting maaarrrieeedd!” never happened.

That being said, it IS worth it. Just make sure that your priorities and must-haves happen, and of course, that you and FI have a wonderful day and marriage!

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