- 3 years ago
8 months ago, while vacationing abroad my fiance proposed to me. What should have been a very exciting day for me was not – my father had been diagnosed with cancer a few weeks before we left on our trip and all I could think about was him – not that girlish excitment everyone gets when they are proposed to. We returned from our trip, and again, what should have been an exciting time sharing our news with new friends was not – his prognosis went terminal – 6 months to a year. Our family was devestated. His parents handed us a list of 40+ friends that NEEDED to be invited to the wedding so there was no chance of doing what would have been my IDEAL wedidng of a simple city hall ceremony followed by a lunch so that my father could have been there. Instead we went through the very painful process of planning a big, traditional, (in my opinion- BORING), wedding to accomodate their lists, and quickly enough so that my father could be there. We had it planned 4 1/2months after his terminal progrosis. I knew it would be too late, but I felt forced into having this big day for everyone else. Nothing about it was for me. He died two weeks before the original date. We had to cancel it a month out. Now we are scheduled to marry again in 48 days and I don’t want to be there. I wish I could fast forward through it. I have so much resentement and hatred towards everthing to do with this wedding. I wanted one thing at my wedding- my family intact, and everyone else took that away from me for their selfish reasons. How am I supposed to be happy about a day I loathe? Where do you find the excitment to be happy about going through with something like this? Everyone expects you to be this bubbly bride eager to want to talk about the details of your wedding and I just want the stupid thing over with? How do I become a bubbly bride? How do people find the excitment for such a stupid event?
- This topic was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by LynnSmith.