Post # 1
I know I’ve got tons of time, but this is really bringing me more stress then it should. This is partly a rant, and partly a “help me!”
I picked a dress for my four bridesmaids about three months ago. I didn’t want to go shopping, I don’t care for making a big deal of it, I found a dress I liked, in the price range we discussed, and sent them all the link and said “Please buy this dress in your size. Let me know when you’ve gotten it, I expect you all to get them soon just incase it stops being made!”
Two of my bridesmaids bought the dress within a few weeks. Another one told me she was saving for it, and she would be buying it in October/November, which I totally understand (the dress is about $110, plus shipping). The other never responded about when she would buy it, aside to say “ok, I’ll get it and let you know!”
The last two still haven’t got their dress. I don’t know what to do. I’ve sent them texts and talked to them in person about getting the dress, but haven’t pushed it too hard. I’m just starting to worry that they’re not going to get the dress in time, or it’s going to stop being made, or be unavailable in their size, and if I wait a few months, then it won’t be available.
How can I just get them to buy the dress already?! I can’t afford to buy the dress for them and have them pay me back, they accepted being my bridesmaid knowing they would have to buy the dress so it’s not like I sprung that on them (and that’s common in our group of friends).
Ugh this is causing me stress! Why is buying a dress such a hard thing for them to do?!
Post # 3
Give them a date to have them by, say middle of January. If they don’t have them by then, you can start to freak out a bit more. Sorry this causing you so much stress:(
Post # 4
I understand that you’re worried about hte dress going out of stock etc – which is a legit concern – but have you tried explaining that to your bridesmaids? Because from their perspective, I’m guessing they think July next year is AAAAAAGGGGESSSS away and they probably think they have plenty of time and don’t need to rush it. Perhaps if you just gently explain to them that you’re concerned and why, they might hurry along better.
Just to keep it in perspective, my wedding is the end of March 2014 and my girls and I haven’t even gone shopping yet. Admittedly that’s because my MOH is in another country and won’t be over here til the end of next month, but I still feel like we have plenty of time. Your BMs probably just don’t see any need for urgency right now.
ETA – I like the idea of giving them a set date to ask them to get their dress by. Good way of putting the onus on them without being too forceful.
Post # 5
Not sure where you are getting the dresses from but some bridesmaids dresses can take 4-6 months to get them without paying rush fees or the possiblity of prices going up or a dress being discontinued.
Give them a deadline date to have it ordered and stick to it. I understand having to save money but it shouldn’t be that difficult. It’s selfish and lazy and uncaring in my book.
Send them a note. tell them what you expect and maybe you need to put added incentive that if they can’t get the chosen dress they won’t be in the wedding? Sounds mean but 3-4 months after choosing the dress is more than enough time to have it ordered.
Post # 6
@DelilahDiamond: There are so many other things to worry about. I suggest you let this one go. If they get the dress, they are a bridesmaid. If they don’t, they attend as a guest.
This is their problem to own, not yours.
Post # 7
@DelilahDiamond: Just tell them you are doing a follow up. XX and XX have thier dresses, can you guys purchase soon so we are in the safe zone, we know it’s available in your size- to make sure you all have the same? Much appreciated!!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@DelilahDiamond: Just give them a deadline that they need to have it ordered by and explain that it takes a certain amount of time for the dresses to come in and need time for alterations if that is needed. I wouldn’t harrass them though :). Also, if either are losing weight or expecting some body changes then they might be waiting a little bit (I was in a wedding last year and bought the dress pretty early to the point that I went down two dress sizes and luckily the store manager decided to let me exchange it for a smaller size, which they don’t usually do, but I think it’s because either way I would have had to get it altered since I am short and bridesmaids dresses that are long are made for ladies that are around 5’7 or so). Try not to freak out yet 🙂 It’s not even November yet … Though the one that is saving for it, if it is really bothering you, maybe you could offer to lend the difference and she could pay you back.