Post # 1
This is an interesting subject. My fiancé has a relative who is a well known musician (especially in the era for a lot of our guests). Even when people find out what my name is going to be, they’re like, “Oh! Is your fiancé related to so-and-so?” He’s planning on coming to the wedding (from the impression he’s given) and I genuinely do not want this to be an uncomfortable experience because other guests are approaching him to talk about his work/career or even worse…ask for an autograph. I think that would be so disrespectful. He’s there for a wedding, not to have attention drawn to him. I don’t want to broadcast either that this person is coming, but I also don’t want people to show up and be starshocked and lose sight of what they’re there for – a celebration of a marriage, not to bother someone for an autograph.
How do I let my guests know to just BE NORMAL without having to announce the fact of him coming? Should I just assume most guests would understand that it would be rude to approach someone in this scenario?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@AlmostMrsJPS: I think word of mouth is the only way to go here. Your FI’s family should be used to it and aware of the proper protocol. Let a few of your family members know that the famous person will be there but isn’t to be cornered or bothered and encourage them to remind other guests. It also wouldn’t hurt to have a trusted friend or family member keep an eye on your special guest with the purpose of rescuing him from any overly persistent or rude guests.
It may also be a good idea to ask your special guest if there is anything else you can do to help him not get cornered on the day. As a famous person he may know some techniques and not need as much help as you think.
Post # 4
Is he “face recognizable” ?
Post # 5
@AlmostMrsJPS: This is one of those things that you can spread by word of mouth – mention that Ringo Starr or whoever will be there, and not to be a weirdo about it.
Post # 6
Yeah word of mouth. I mean what else can you do? throw in an insert card? Post it on the website? (Lol)
Post # 7
@AlmostMrsJPS: We had this situation pop up with a member of my FI’s family. The guest wasn’t an entertainer, but a politician. FI and I discussed it, and crossed our fingers most of our guests would be polite enough to allow our well-known guest to enjoy their evening, and they did. I think there were a few whispers of, “is that who I think it is?” but, that was the extent of it. I think acknowledging they will be there in advance could just make things worse. Plus, your guest will likely be “used” to it, if a guest or two comes up to them. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Although, I would give your photographer a heads up. Depending on the person, they may not appreciate having their photo taken outright. : )
Post # 8
I’d say just rely on your guests to know what is and what is not appropriate. Your famous soon to be relative will be used to these kinds of situation so will know how to handle it and it will not reflect badly on you if one of two guests are star shocked.
Personally as a guest I would be a bit put out if my host felt the need to inform me that a famous perosn would be in attendance to prepare me, and really put out if I believed it was because they wanted to instruct me on how to behave.
Post # 9
I think you have to trust your crowd. Most people I know wouldn’t act like crazy fans if they happened to see a local celebrity at an event. They’d notice, they would want to chat about his music of course because that’s a place to start a conversation, but as the evening runs its course they would just chat like he was any other ”unknown” guest, especially if he is not himself acting like the star of the moment. If he’s cool and all, people will remember him as a nice person they had the chance to meet.
I’ve been to a formal fashion event with my FI (fashion show of young designers who just got their degree) and we saw tons of local celebrities (none of them any of you would know, but most people in Québec would). They were chatting with a few people only and although we were many, many people to attend this event, nobody was bothering them or asking for autographs, the focus was on the young unknown talents. But we all noticed the celebs were there.
Post # 10
@AlmostMrsJPS: I agree. We have a similar issue but the couple is very very used to it. They know it comes with the territory. Just word of mouth should be good enough. Besides most grown adults should know better. & maybe tell your famed guest that your family are all fans of his work and he can come prepared with some pre signed photos or something at the rehearsal so he’s not bogged at the reception.
Post # 11
@AlmostMrsJPS: Depending where you live, you may not even have to say anything to your guests. For example, if your wedding is in NYC or some wealthy NYC suburb or Long Island, no one cares about celebrity status. While living in NYC, I’ve been to normal non-VIP bars where John Mayer or some other big celebrity was sitting at the table next to me, and no one bothered them. In some environments, no one cares.
On the other hand, I lived and hung out in LA (where celebs are even more rampant), and the celeb worship there is INSANE. I’d figure LA people would be over it by now, but no, they treat celeb viewing as a hobby! So there I would worry and spread via word of mouth so people don’t stare at this celeb as if he were some weird exotic bird, lol.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious who this guy is. When you mean, era – do you mean middle aged folks’ era or younger gen era? I’m just trying to see if I should be picturing Kenny G or Drake attending your wedding, haha.
Post # 12
I agree with PPs, some word of mouth might be the best way to prepare your guests. And hey, maybe people will be so star-struck they won’t dare talk to him! lol
I had a funny thought while reading your post. I thought “Hey, that’s why famous people hang out with other famous people. Mick Jagger doesn’t need to be afraid Ringo Starr will run over to him at Paul McCartney’s wedding and start pestering him for an autograph!” 🙂
Post # 13
Similar situation happened with my cousin. He’s an actor and one of his best friends is a famous actor. He just spread through word of mouth that so and so was going to be in attendance and one of the groomsmen. It was exciting, but people only cared about the marriage taking place and celebrating that. I think my younger cousins (then like 7 or 8 years old) asked to meet him, but they were the only ones. Also, you’d be surprised how little people tend to notice if they’re not aware to start with. They’re used to seeing someone as specific way and overlook them when they aren’t presented in that manner.
Post # 14
@MrsNewDay: +1, also very curious as to who it is… LOL. All you bee’s with potentially famous guests… can you share who they are?
Post # 15
@Polygon: That’s good advice if you know that people will follow it. Also, knowing your own invitees helps because you’ll be more likely to know how they react.
I’m being careful as I write this because I don’t want to come over as up my own posterior but there were some very well known people at my wedding reception. I’m not naming names but I’ll go as far as saying that any fans of the Harry Potter movies would know one of our friends very well! (No, it wasn’t Daniel Radcliffe!!). Others included a musician who regularly appears at Glastonbury, two BAFTA winners for their TV work, two sportsmen, a couple of authors and a Member of Parliament.
These people are good, close and old friends of ours. They were not invited because of their “celebrity”. However, we didn’t expect any problems with crowding or too many requests for autographs because we live in an area where it’s quite usual for well known people to live and it’s never considered cool to do other than let them enjoy some life away from the spotlight.
However, we did have a couple of guests who came up to me and asked whether it’d be OK to get autographs from “the luvvies” and we just asked that they didn’t on this particular occasion because we wanted everyone present to just relax and enjoy themselves.
Post # 16
I say don’t say anything , most people have sense and have to realize that there not coming to a show but your wedding