Post # 1
So a little bit of back story. I moved out of my parents house about 8 years ago now so suffice to say I am a self sufficient adult living with my FI. We have moved away from our hometown and dont get to see our families that much. Anyways, my dad is a very giving person and if I was living near home I’m sure my dad would help with yardwork or house things, etc. like he does for my siblings (he loves helping) but since thats not possible he helps me out financially from time to time, $50 here, $100 there. Which makes me feel guilty since he is retired and on a fixed income. When I’m working, I’m making more than him.
Back to the point, I was recently injured and unable to work for months. My dad gifted me $1000 and while it helped us out immensly, I feel so guilty taking money from him but he loves that hes able to help me. Now, that I am better I want to pay him back but he says no, hes my father and thats what hes there for, to help his children (his words). I was going to just put it back in his bank account but I dont want to upset him or offend him, like I dont need him or something. Do you Bee’s have any idea of something I can do for my dad to pay him back, or something nice I could do to show him how much I appreciate his help?? Thank you.
Post # 2
My mom is the same way!!! And I love her for it!!! I would get him something special, perhaps something that he’s been talking about wanting for a while but wouldnt buy for himself. Like my mom was saying that she wanted a watch, so, I bought her a watch… and now she’s talking about getting herself a Bose stereo the next time she visits me (she lives in the caribbean where it isnt easily accessible) I’m going to get it for her before she gets here…
so maybe do some recon and find out if he has been talking about anything recently… and remember it isnt the value of the gift, its the thought! And just because you are a grown up doesnt mean that he cant still help! parents like to feel that they are still needed!
Post # 3
My mom is also the exact same way although I don’t accept money from her since I make a good living and I don’t think its fair to take her money given she is on a fixed income. But she does it for my brother and sister all the time.
Since your dad is on fixed income he might still appreciate the money rather than a gift, living on a fixed income is quite difficult and if he doesn’t have any savings on the side there is probably a very strict budget. Maybe you could explain to him that it would make YOU feel better if he allows you to pay him back so that you are more comfortable borrowing from him in the future if you ever need it.
Another thing that might be nice is maybe buy him a ticket to come and visit you guys for a few days? there is no better gift than family time spent together!! I’ll bet he would love that!
Post # 4
mrsaxachef: Thanks! Yes I will have to do some recon 🙂 Thats nice of you to do that for your mom. I know, sometimes I forget how much they like to feel needed… I’m not a parent yet, so I’ll find out one day 🙂
HuysuzAyi33: I try my hardest not to accept money from him, lol. If i’m visiting and he tries to hand me money I run away lol. But since I’m living far away, he just goes to my bank back home and deposits money on his own and I dont know about it until I look at my bank account! Hes so sneaky lol. I didnt even think about getting him a ticket out here, what a great idea!! this is why I love getting other peoples ideas… he would love that, thank you!
Post # 5
I would acknowlegde it with a small gift and a genuine, hand-written note.
Post # 6
fallparkbride: I’d do one of two things: write him a check and let him decide what to do or get him something he wants/needs. Does your dad need a new lawnmower? What about a weekend away? You don’t even need to frame it as a gift of repayment for the money he gave you, just tell him you want to do something nice for him because he deserves it.
Post # 7
Since he won’t take the money but he is living on a fixed income, buy him something he needs that he would have to spend money on. Example a new lawn mower as suggested and try to find a way to justify giving his an Esso (or whatever gas station is close to you) gift card.
It is like you are paying him back without handing over cash
Post # 8
Conveniently, Father’s day is coming up! Use that as an excuse and get him something that he wants/needs. You can also get him a gift card to any place that he normally shops. We used to get my dad McDonald’s gift cards because he went there every morning to have breakfast and chat with the other retirees that hung out there. This way, he never had to pay for breakfast! He never thought of it as charity or paying him back, he just thought it was great that he didn’t need to bring cash, and if one of the guys was short, he could cover them. Something like that would work really well.
Post # 9
fallparkbride: Does he have any cause or charity that he supports? My Dad was like yours when hewas still alive.
When I was at university and shortyly thereafter, he used to send me small amounts of money- “just because”- so that I would have money that asn’t budgeted.
My Dad belonged to an Army Regimental Association (here in Canada- a group for retired military).
I made a donation to help fund their regimental museum in his name. Of course he told me “You shouldn’t have” but he was also thrilled.
Post # 10
Do something at the wedding for him!! You could do the reveal of you in your dress etc. for him and have photos taken of it and framed. I had a friend take a picture with a sign that said “forever your girl”, she framed it and gave it to her dad. You could do something special for the Father Daughter dance. But definitly do something sentimental, that will mean more than giving him his money back. 🙂
Post # 11
My parents would both far rather we spend time with them than purchase a gift…my dad would absolutely prefer a dad-daughter day, or dinner…
Post # 12
Laurenplusalex: Thanks for your idea 🙂 I do send him cards from time to time just thanking him for everything he does for me.
annb9: EncoreBridetoBe: Thank you, those are both great ideas!!
MariContrary: Thats a good idea too! We get Tim Horton gift cards for my FIL for the exact reasons you said, he loves that!
julies1949: That was very nice for you to do, I bet that made him happy. 🙂 I’ll have to think about something he would like to contribute too, good idea!
emilyluwest: I love that idea 🙂 he is simple and not very materialistic so he loves pics of family… thats a very sweet idea. Thanks!
Post # 13
fallparkbride: aw, that’s so sweet. I am sending my parents away for a weekend in November as a combined Christmas/thank-you and plan on writing a note too because I know they’ll treasure that.
Post # 14
fallparkbride: Glad to help, I am sure he will love it! keep us posted on what you decide to do.
Post # 15
Laurenplusalex: that really nice of you! they will enjoy that for sure 🙂
HuysuzAyi33: I will post back for sure when I decide what to do.
Thanks Bee’s for all your great ideas!! 🙂