How to give back to my Dad – Opinions Plz.

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: How to repay my fathers generosity?
    Dont do anything, its was a gift, say thank you and move on. : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Repay the money. : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Find another way to do something special for him without giving back the money. : (21 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee

    My mom is the same way!!! And I love her for it!!! I would get him something special, perhaps something that he’s been talking about wanting for a while but wouldnt buy for himself. Like my mom was saying that she wanted a watch, so, I bought her a watch… and now she’s talking about getting herself a Bose stereo the next time she visits me (she lives in the caribbean where it isnt easily accessible) I’m going to get it for her before she gets here…

    so maybe do some recon and find out if he has been talking about anything recently… and remember it isnt the value of the gift, its the thought! And just because you are a grown up doesnt mean that he cant still help! parents like to feel that they are still needed!

    Post # 3
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee

    My mom is also the exact same way although I don’t accept money from her since I make a good living and I don’t think its fair to take her money given she is on a fixed income.  But she does it for my brother and sister all the time.

    Since your dad is on fixed income he might still appreciate the money rather than a gift, living on a fixed income is quite difficult and if he doesn’t have any savings on the side there is probably a very strict budget. Maybe you could explain to him that it would make YOU feel better if he allows you to pay him back so that you are more comfortable borrowing from him in the future if you ever need it.

    Another thing that might be nice is maybe buy him a ticket to come and visit you guys for a few days? there is no better gift than family time spent together!! I’ll bet he would love that!

    Post # 5
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would acknowlegde it with a small gift and a genuine, hand-written note.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2134 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    fallparkbride:  I’d do one of two things: write him a check and let him decide what to do or get him something he wants/needs. Does your dad need a new lawnmower? What about a weekend away? You don’t even need to frame it as a gift of repayment for the money he gave you, just tell him you want to do something nice for him because he deserves it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    861 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    Since he won’t take the money but he is living on a fixed income, buy him something he needs that he would have to spend money on. Example a new lawn mower as suggested and try to find a way to justify giving his an Esso (or whatever gas station is close to you) gift card.

    It is like you are paying him back without handing over cash

    Post # 8
    Member
    2368 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Conveniently, Father’s day is coming up! Use that as an excuse and get him something that he wants/needs. You can also get him a gift card to any place that he normally shops. We used to get my dad McDonald’s gift cards because he went there every morning to have breakfast and chat with the other retirees that hung out there. This way, he never had to pay for breakfast! He never thought of it as charity or paying him back, he just thought it was great that he didn’t need to bring cash, and if one of the guys was short, he could cover them. Something like that would work really well.

    Post # 9
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    fallparkbride:  Does he have any cause or charity that he supports? My Dad was like yours when hewas still alive.

    When I was at university and shortyly thereafter, he used to send me small amounts of money- “just because”- so that I would have money that asn’t budgeted.

    My Dad belonged to an Army Regimental Association (here in Canada- a group for retired military).

    I made a donation to help fund their regimental museum in his name. Of course he told me “You shouldn’t have” but he was also thrilled.

    Post # 10
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee

    Do something at the wedding for him!! You could do the reveal of  you in your dress etc. for him and have photos taken of it and framed. I had a friend take a picture with a sign that said “forever your girl”, she framed it and gave it to her dad. You could do something special for the Father Daughter dance. But definitly do something sentimental, that will mean more than giving him his money back. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My parents would both far rather we spend time with them than purchase a gift…my dad would absolutely prefer a dad-daughter day, or dinner…

    Post # 13
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    fallparkbride:  aw, that’s so sweet. I am sending my parents away for a weekend in November as a combined Christmas/thank-you and plan on writing a note too because I know they’ll treasure that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee

    fallparkbride:  Glad to help, I am sure he will love it! keep us posted on what you decide to do.

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