Post # 1
Getting married at the end of may and We arent having children at our wedding except for my 2 year old neice and my fiances 4-5 month old nephew. there will be two newborns at the time of the wedding however. I havent put these babies on the invitiations (they arent even born yet). After the invtiations go out in a week or two, should I make contact with these people to let them know that they are welcome to bring their newborns? And how old is old enough not to invite? There is another baby which will be 3 months and she isnt breastfeeding. is this old enough to expect her not to have to bring her???
We dont want children there but will make exceptions for newborns because they are very likely breastfed and too young for babysitters. just wondering how to go about this and also what to do about slightly older babies.
Post # 3
I think you can leave it to the parents to come to you, or mention it if you think there will be grumbling. We had only one child at our kid-free wedding, and the parents asked about bringing her when they responded. Other than that, we had no issues crop up from it.
Post # 4
I would probably write “John, Jane and Baby Smith” on the invitation so there’s no confusion. The three month old is your call but I would probably invite her. I would say any baby under a year shouldn’t be separated from their parents.
Post # 5
I have 5 babies who will be born between invitations and the wedding (and 2 more who will be born the week before our invitations go out). We are having a kids free wedding and wrote out the invites to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Baby Smith”. For a no-kids wedding I would leave the baby off and just follow up with a personal email after the invites go out.
Post # 6
I think it would be kind and thoughtful for you to contact the new parents and let them know they are welcome to bring the babies. You will help them avoid that awkward decision-making about whether to call you to clarify or just decline the invitation.
I would also extend the same opportunity to the parents of the 3 month old. 3 months is quite early for many parents to be comfortable with a sitter, bottle fed or not.
Post # 7
I think that if you allow some people to bring children and babies, and not others, it’s just bad taste. How would the friend that has a child, who was told that they needed to find a sitter for their child, feel when they see other people were able to bring their kids? While I understand this is “your” wedding, I assume that you want people to feel welcomed.
Post # 8
@Bazingau: I was thinking this too, that the situation is ripe for problems.
Post # 9
Isn’t three months when most mothers go back to work from maternity leave AT THE LATEST?
I’m not a mother or anything so don’t quote me but a lot of mothers have a hard time getting 8 weeks off these days. I thought 12 was the norm for a maternity leave.. if they arent still breast feeding I would say at 3 months they can be left with someone for a few hours… especially since it more then likely is a weekend when the child would go to family and not just day care or some random sitter.
Post # 10
@Bazingau: I believe she is only making an exception to the rule to allow those babies who are too young to stay w/ a sitter to come to the wedding so the parents won’t have to miss out.
Post # 12
@julies1949: I agree. You don’t want to risk people declining because they feel uncomfortable about their babies, OP.
Post # 13
@gpsp2B: The answer to your question is, it depends. In Canada, we get up to a full year or maternity and parental leave.
The role of a hostess is to make her guests feel comfortable. Offering them the choice to bring a newborn or get a sitter if they prefer would go a long way towards that.
It is perfectly reasonable to allow parents to bring babies up to 3 months of age, and request that older babies and children be left at home.
Post # 14
@Gemma_Leigh: As a parent, I think the cutoff should be around 6 months. For two reasons: below 6 months they are hard to leave (due to breastfeeding issues), and also below 6 months they are not mobile at all. Kids begin crawling at 6-9 months. I didn’t bottle feed, but I suspect a 3 month old would be hard to babysit anyway so you should invite allow the 3 month old even though she isn’t being breastfed.
@gpsp2B: I’m guessing that’s paid maternity leave. Many women take longer unpaid maternity leave.