Post # 1
Even before we were engaged, my Fiance and I always talked about how fun a small wedding would be. Then, once we got engaged, everything started getting nuts with planning and suddenly we had a date, venue and 185 person guest list (yikes!)
We have only put a deposit in for the photographer so far (we don’t need to with teh church because we’re members), but it’s just not “us” anymore, and we’re thinking about scrapping the big idea and getting married with our parents, siblings (and their spouses) and one friend on each side. However, how do we tell people this?
Should we tell everyone that we’ve decided to slow down the process and wait for a while, and then let them know later (SURPRISE!) that we’ve gotten married? Or do we tell people ahead of time that we’re just keeping it to immediate family (plus a friend each who are practically family)?
Post # 3
@DeeDee83: Have you sent out Save-The-Date Cards or Invitations? If not than I wouldn’t worry about it and continue to plan for your small wedding (and hey even small weddings need photographers) However, if you have sent out invites…I guess you could speak to each of them, or you could get married and have a potluck reception afterwards were your 185 guests could attend.
Post # 4
We haven’t send out save the dates or invites. People definitely know the date, but we haven’t really made any formal annoucements. I like your potluck idea. We had said that maybe we would just have two big bbq’s later on (our familes are from two different states) so that everyone felt included in our celebration, but it would be waaaaay less formal and just more of an excuse to spend time with our familes without making big “events” out of the gatherins. Thanks for your help!
Post # 5
I agree with LovebirdsSC– you are in the clear since you have not sent invitations or Save the Dates. Tell anyone who asks that you decided on a small family wedding and informal receptions in each family’s at a later date.
Post # 6
Wedding are expensive and everyone knows that. Before we got engaged I told too many people they could come. We got engaged in November and since we do not make alot of money we are having a much smaller wedding larger than yours at 80 ppl though. I would apologize to everyone who is not going to be invited that due to financial worries your are planning a small immediate wedding instead. Maybe even invite some to an after-party or mini reception at your house at a later day to show wedding video and pictures and have some cake too!
Post # 7
@ItsDestiny: I like the idea of having the video. Thanks!
Post # 8
This is us exactly! We had talked about a small wedding and then when we got engaged, it went nuts! We got engaged while on vacation and as we were driving home, we started making a guest list…It was 186 people long and I have since remembered people that we left off.
In the end, we’ve decided on a small (30-35 people) destination wedding for immediate family and close friends. Once we get home, we will have a really casual ‘Welcome Home’ party for everyone. If it were the summer, it would totally be a BBQ. Seeing as it will be November/December in Canada, we are planning on just renting a hall, making lots of food, running the wedding slideshow and just let people drop in to offer their best wishes.
I keep saying that the small wedding is for us. The big thing back home is for everyone else. It’s like the best of both worlds.