Post # 1
My FI’s aunt offered to host a couple’s shower for us. This was back in November. I told her we would register etc and maybe we could do it in the Spring. This weekend FI informed me that his mom “talked with him and his aunt really shouldn’t give us a shower”. First, my feelings were hurt because the aunt specifically asked me and I said yes and how grateful I was to have such great extended family. Second, I was kind of taken aback – should I have said no or consulted with FI’s mom before accepting? I think this is a totally weird situation. I was also really looking forward to it and the opportunity for my parents to tag along and meet his extended family.
So, was I wrong to accept her offer? And has anyone else ever had this situation happen?
Post # 3
No of course you weren’t wrong at all. If she offered, then I think it wouldn’t have caused more issues to decline. Perhaps his Mom just wanted to do something. I would ask her about it.
Post # 4
That’s really weird. Did MIL give any reasons as to why? I don’t think you should have checked with MIL before accepting. Maybe your FI can talk to his aunt to see what’s up?
Post # 5
yeah that is really strange! maybe there is some unknown drama between said aunt and FMIL? sounds a little bit wierd to me. i would have totally accepted the offer -someone wants to throw you a party i dont know why you have to check in with your fiances mom for that one. or anything for that matter.
Post # 6
That’s wierd. If she wants to throw one, it would be rude to decline, especially now after you already said yes.
Post # 7
That is so sweet of your future aunt. My aunt offered and my mom was so happy so now they are doing it together. I don’t see why MIL would be upset. Could they maybe plan it together?
Post # 8
You should not have consulted with FMIL first.
I would as FI to ask his mom why she things aunt should not throw the shower. Maybe she is having financial troubles? If FI’s mom only doesnt think its proper, then its not her decision, but the aunts decision.
Post # 9
Sheesh. Anybody who wants to throw you a shower is free to do so. FMIL probably just thinks she’s been upstaged.
Post # 10
Thanks, girls! She asked me quite some time back and I thought it was a very sweet gesture, and I absolutely adore her. I don’t know what it is or why FMIL intervened. There could be more to the story that I just don’t know about but when I pressed about it the term “she has a lot going on” came up and when I asked, well, truth is, he was just saying it. There was not a lot going on. I just wanted to check in and see if there was some kind of bridal shower etiquette that I was unaware of. And, no, his mom will not be throwing me a shower. It’s definitely not her cup of tea. Don’t get me wrong, she’s is amazing and I like her a lot, but it’s not her thing.