- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’m in an awkward position. I have 3 amazing bridesmaids and 1 dud. & by dud, I mean she’s my only stress factor in this wedding process right now. I feel TERRIBLE. But I almost regret asking her. No… I do regret it. Completely. & it hurts my heart. I guess I’ll start with a few examples.
1) Flakiness. I have not seen her in 6 months because she constantly cancels on me at the last minute. We made plans to go shopping for my rehearsal dinner dress and wedding shoes, and she decided to text me at 3am that day that she’d rather sleep in. This happens contantly and I’m TERRIFIED she won’t be there when I need her for the important stuff.
2) Hubby is attached to her hip and needs to be included in EVERYTHING. Bridesmaid dress shopping, bridal shower… WHAT?! Oh, we’ve had a talk about this. I can’t even… *blows steam* It’s not fair to the other girls (all married, too) when their husbands won’t be in attendance. She doesn’t understand why he can’t be there, too.
3) It’s about HER. I’ve been yelled at several times by her already. That I need to plan the bridesmaid dress shopping around her schedule (despite that I’m trying to accomodate another Bridesmaid or Best Man coming in from out of state), that the dress better suit her body type, etc. I let it go, because that’s months away… but the issue needs to be addressed, I know. I know. ): I’ve also been yelled at because her husband isn’t a groomsmen. My FH hasn’t hung out with him in YEARS because if they make plans, she’s automatically involved. & she makes an issue when I’m not there (because I let my guy have a life outside of me???)
4) She let herself go. Hygiene-wise. Does it make me shallow that this makes me nervous, too? Am I terrible person?
5) The immaturity. My Maid/Matron of Honor just got married and FB is abuzz with it. This Bridesmaid or Best Man made a comment, “since we’re all discussing weddings…” & reposted all her wedding pics from 7 years ago. Why would you do that? Why?
My other 3 BMs are excluding her from being too involved in the stuff their planning from me because they can’t rely on her. Which is probably a good idea. I’ve tried talking to her, but what else can I do? I feel BAD.
Have you been in a similar situation? Did you suck it up, or remove her? I know that will end the friendship, but that might almost be a good thing at this point with how she’s treating me. I know she didn’t get the wedding she wanted, but now I feel like she’s trying to get it through me. I have more examples, but I don’t want to bore you guys. SIGH. I’m upset about this whole situation. I’m trying to be as nice as possible, but… HELP.