- 3 years ago
I originally wanted to cap our bar at 2k and do cash bar after that. pretty standard, I figured, plus I have LOTS of family members against drinking, so I wanted to make it a middle ground environment for everyone.
But my FMIL said no way and demanded an open bar. She said they would cover the costs, so we agreed. We ALL agreed to make it beer and liquor only, because wine was too expensive through our venue. Also, only a few of our guests drink wine. So wine and champs would be for purchase only.
Now after we have budgeted everything out, we are estimating it to be ~4k if everyone gets 3 drinks (give or take). My FSIL drinks wine, and was very butt hurt when she heard we wern’t covering it. They are NOW saying we need to cover the first $2,500 and they will cover everything else if wine is served (am I the only one who remembers them saying they’d cover it all?). My FMIL starts listing out random names of people she knows that drink wine. She throws a few of MY friends out there, who I know drink beer and liquor if not more than wine. Is she just naming people that happen to like wine also just to get her way?? Why is she even caring this much- she doesnt even like wine! Most people who ONLY drink wine (there are 3 or 4 coming to our wedding) will be ok with buying a glass or two, if they absolutly have to drink it.
Anyway. Now she is making me go to the coordinator and ask how many oz. per bottle, how many glasses each bottle serves, etc. Then she wants to see if we can seperate the wine bill from the other alcohol as a “gift” from them. Sooo does that mean they are only paying for wine now? I am very confused, and getting very frustrated.
I know it is a complete blessing to have them contribute anything at all, I am just mostly annoyed with the way she is going about it. They say one thing, then they change it. We all agree on something, and now they want it another way so we’re doing it that way now.
I tried talking to my FI, since he is the only one that talks to them about money, but he just avoids it. He will never back me up and he says that his parents will in the end help us anyway. I am a very straightforward person and don’t understand why people just can’t be black and white when it comes to these things. Yes we’ll serve wine, no we won’t. Yes you’ll pay, no you wont. Not that difficult.
So, how should I approach her and get things straightened out?