(Closed) How to handle out of town bridal shower invites.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should we handle this?
    Have one shower at home, invite all guests even though his side won't attend. : (5 votes)
    25 %
    Ask future MIL to host a 2nd shower with fiance's family. : (7 votes)
    35 %
    Have one shower at home, don't invite fiance's family, just wait to see what they do (if anything). : (6 votes)
    30 %
    Other...explain! : (2 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Ask Future Mother-In-Law what her preference is. I did not put out of town guests on the invite list, b/c I didn’t want it to seem gift-grabby. 



    Post # 4
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My Future Mother-In-Law lives about 2,000 miles away.  My sister sent her a shower invitation so a-she could feel invited and b-she could have it as a keepsake.  We were all aware she woudln’t be attending.  We did the same for my elderly great-grandmother.

    Post # 5
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would.  For my sister’s baby shower, I invited her in-laws who live 2 states away.  I know they have the capacity to travel, and it was the only shower she was getting.  Why not send invites?

    Post # 6
    238 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’ve been invited to my friends’  showers even though I lived in another state. They told me they didn’t expect me to be there, but that they wanted me to feel included. I would say invite her but also have a conversation with her about not expecting them to be there.

    Post # 7
    32 posts
    • Wedding: June 2008

    Personally, I would not invite out of towners. If I were invited to a shower thirteen hours away, I would view it as a gift-grab. But, I’m also not the sort that would ever view a weeding shower invitation as a keepsake.

    Post # 8
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would talk to your Future Mother-In-Law.  Even if you don’t flat out ask her to throw a shower, you can ask what she wants to do, if she thinks you should invite their family, if it makes sense to have a second event, etc.  My Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t have thought of it on her own (she’s wonderful but totally wedding-naive), so my mom told her there would be a shower in my hometown and asked if she was planning on throwing one in FI’s hometown that her family/friends could attend.  My Future Mother-In-Law was thrilled and excited, but it never would’ve happened if we hadn’t brought it up.

    Post # 10
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Ask Future Mother-In-Law for her opinion about it without asking her to throw a shower. She’ll feel great that you value her opinion and maybe she’ll get the idea to have a shower for you if her opinion is that your family should not send her family invitations.

    Post # 11
    3264 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would invite Future Mother-In-Law and any future SIL’s to your family shower, but not the aunties, cousins etc. 

    I would never bring up someone hosting a shower for me.  Either they offer of they don’t.  It’s not something you can politely ask IMO.

    The topic ‘How to handle out of town bridal shower invites.’ is closed to new replies.

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