Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lubeznik Center for the Arts
My fiance and I are having a bridal shower this summer, but the only volunteers we have had for hosting it have been our maids of honor (our sisters) and my Mom. We are both women, so it’s a two bride-shower, but we are only planning to invite about 30 people. I know that technically your family should not throw you a shower, but nobody else has volunteered and I truly do not think the people we know would judge us. Also, our closest friends are extremely busy with new families, so our sisters, who are younger, are in the best position to have time to plan.
Should I skip having a shower? I don’t want to seem rude or greedy, and I don’t really care about gifts, but I do want to have the shower experience.
Post # 2
Just go for it, especially if whom you are inviting are non-judgey people to begin with.
Post # 3
carlsolindsay: the situation you are describing of family members hosting showers happens often enough that I doubt anyone will give it a second thought.
Enjoy your shower.
Post # 4
carlsolindsay: I think it depends on where you live. Immediate family do not host showers in the circle of people I know. Showers are hosted by the bride’s friends or bridal party. They may however, be held at the MOB’s home as often the younger people don’t have a home large enough.
If it’s common where you live, relax and carry on with your plans.
Post # 5
More often than not, where I’m from the MOB or MOG or both host the shower.
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s bad to have family members host a shower. In my area, this is widely done and accepted. To be honest, I never heard of this as an etiquette faux pas until I came on the bee.
Post # 7
carlsolindsay: My MOH was my cousin so no clue how we were meant to get around that one. My mom helped out since my MOH was only 19. My other bridesmaid also got involved so in the end I had 2 family members and one non-member planning it (I didn’t know about it until afterwards). So nope I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 8
Your MOH’s are family, so I don’t see a problem.
Post # 9
carlsolindsay: I had no idea that family isn’t supposed to host the shower… My mom, aunts and bridesmaids are all over the moon to be putting together my shower! And as MOG and SFIL my mom and I hosted my SIL’s shower.
So agree with PPs don’t worry about it 🙂
Post # 10
I think your mom hosting would be a bit much, but since your sisters are your MOHs, I think you can get away with them hosting!
Post # 11
Around here, it’s usually the MOB or MOG who host the shower so you are fine!
Post # 12
carlsolindsay: I don’t think this is a situation that needs handling! Just have your shower with the MOHs as hostesses and don’t worry about it. If someone has a problem with it – which I find highly unlikely – they can choose not to come.
Post # 13
The rule about MOB not hosting the shower I think has passed it’s prime as a hard and fast ettiqute rule. This was established in the time period where you would go from your mother’s house to your husbands house, so it would look like your mom was trying to get you stuff to get you out of her house. Now that most brides have lived on their own for a few years prior to their wedding, this rule seems to be going out the door. It is almost becoming normal for the MOB to be involved in shower planning now.
Post # 14
carlsolindsay: In my social circle it’s not uncommon for the Mom or MOH to throw the shower. My sister is getting married as well and I am MOH so the shower is hosted by me and my mom.
Even showers I know of that were “hosted” by the MOH (a friend) and bridesmaids the mom usually finances big chunks of it.
Post # 15
My sister is my MOH and she’s planning the shower to be held at my mom’s house, so I know my mom is helping her a lot. My bridesmaids are all spread out geographically, so I believe they are helping a bit, but my sister and mom are doing the bulk of the work. Technically, my bridesmaids are throwing the shower, but since my MOH is my sister, my family is as well. None of my local bridesmaids live somewhere large enough to host the party and it’s much more cost effective to have it at mom’s than at a restaurant. I doubt anyone will think twice about it, but my mom is being careful to always say the shower is being thrown by the bridesmaids even though she is doing a good chunk of the planning/hosting.
My MIL just informed me that she is also planning to throw a shower for their side of the family (even though my sister & mom were planning to invite them) so I’m not sure how that factors in, but she’s throwing one too.