(Closed) How to handle when you realize a friendship is mostly one sided

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It sounds like your lives have gone in different directions.  I would sit down and talk with her about how you’re feeling.  Be open and honest and see where it goes from there.  If nothing else, you’ve have an amazing friend for a very long time and must now part ways.Who knows, maybe she’s going through something difficult in her personal life that she’s been reluctant to talk about.  Good luck!


Post # 4
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s true. Sometimes you get married, get a great job, new house etc. and you realize some people you thought were “friends” don’t actually enjoy seeing you successful. My best friend drinks like a fish and thinks she’s living the high life because she parties so much and has so many “friends”. She’ll call me and talk for an hour when some guy she’s hooking up with bails on her, or when her roommate is being a bitch… but I wasn’t allowed to talk about my wedding with her (my MOH) and when I called her to tell her I was pregnant she cut me off and started talking about how she just found her favorite ring that she had lost and now won’t talk to me at all. We were always really, really close (I thought) but now I’m realizing she was always there for my hard times, and didn’t want anything to do with me during my good times. Who needs a friend who prefers you in misery?

It’s a damn shame but sometimes you find out who your friends are. I’d say just let her be and if she doesn’t want to talk to you then fine. Surround yourself with people who love you and focus on those who are showing themselves to be true friends.

Post # 5
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper


I’m sorry things have gone south with the friendship.  🙁  It sounds like it’s been one-sided for sometime now.

If I were in your shoes, I would talk to her about it and tell her how her disinterest in you and her changing the subject all the time makes her feel.

She may not be realizing she’s doing it and may desire to keep the friendship.  What you should get is a heart-felt apology and a vow to try harder and change.

That would, obviously, be the best case scenario.

You could, of course, opt to say nothing and allow her to live in her self-obsessed world and just pull back from her (ie: not return calls, reach out, etc.)

I do know how hurtful it is.  I am in the middle of a break from a friend I’ve had for 25 years… I finally realized that I was making effort towards a friendship that wasn’t really there.  I would put myself out there, only to be undermined and belittled.  What kind of friendship is that?

Post # 6
11172 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I have had a similar issue with two different long time friends and it sucks. I am really sorry that you are dealing with this amidst all your happy wedding planning.

For me I just let the friendships go. It was easier to just stop trying so much and let nature take its course so to speak. I am much more at peace with the situation now that I am not putting so much effort into these friendships that really weren’t offering anything to me. While I do hear from one of the girls occassionally the other one just doesn’t come around or talk to me.


Post # 7
2894 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve had a similar thing happen. One person I’m no longer friends with. The other and I are better friends than ever. I called her out on it. We had an at length conversation and, honestly, one of the things she said was that she didn’t realize she was being that way. Don’t give up just yet. Sometimes the other person is oblivious to what is happening. But if you talk and things don’t get better, that’s another story. I hope everything works out.

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