(Closed) How to have a dream wedding in spite of hateful/uninterested small guest list

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Well, you can’t really change people, and if you build up a whole lot of expectations with the circle of family and friends you describe, you are kind of setting yourself up for disappointment.

That said, maybe this is an opportunity to try to repair/build up relationships with these family members? Build some closer friendships? If you want a big, happy wedding, you kind of need to have, or build, a big, happy circle of friends and family members to celebrate with you. That’s not really the kind of thing you can fake – and even if you could, you don’t really want your wedding to be inauthentic.

I would aim for something that’s as joyful as you can make it, regardless of the size.

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not sure exactly what your dream wedding exists of but why not do it still but on a smaller scale?

Post # 5
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I’m sorry about your family not sharing your excitement in this very exciting time! That’s a total bummer.First I would try to talk to some of the unenthusiastic family members and maybe explain how important this is to you and your fi, and really try to express your excitement. (it can be contagious ). If that doesn’t work, sometimes adding very personal touches to a wedding can make guests really feel how much you love each other and how much effort you put into making the wedding beautiful. Maybe a few DIY projects that reflect a shared interest or experience you and your fi had? Hopefully that will help them find a romantic/ happy place where they can  enjoy the evening. 

Post # 7
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that’s a good way to go and sounds fun! I had to totally change my plans completely because of the distaste my FI’s family had on our first idea. Just focus on your love and have fun with him. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
8319 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sorry I don;t get it? What exactly does this mean “Got a lot of unhappy, uninterested or just plain old and tired family members on both sides “?

I get old and tired (though i do find it a bit offensive to label seniors this way) but unhappy? uninterested?

Are they just uninterested in your wedding planning? or uninterested in you and you life in general?

And unhappy? Are they not supportive of your marriage?

Sorry I just need more info because there is a major difference in being uninterested in someones wedding planning and uninterested in their life at all.

 

Post # 9
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I can sympathise with your situation. I too have a very closed off family who see each other regularly in my home town, but just aren’t happy fun people. Each have their own issues which they wallow in so they have little energy left to be happy for others…. but I digress…..

I know its not what you want to hear but we settled with a 19 guest wedding in the end. I didnt want to feel resentment towards all the uninterested guests afterwards. However I ordered my dream designer gown, planning a beautiful four course meal at a georgous restaurant, held back no expense on my flowers or photographer. I’m hoping this means I will satisfy my “inner princess” and my FH and I’s wants, AKA not relying on my guests personalities in defining my dream wedding.

Good luck

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