How to have a wedding ceremony/vow renewal after already being married?! Help

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

lovelyeyes:  im so sorry that has happened to you. My BIL was married in mexico and then married at court in america. they wanted a church wedding here also. so they did that. this was all in the course of two years. their invites said wedding. theres nothing wrong with that. we even had a big party for the court wedding. there were some people that felt like they didnt need the last wedding since they had a church wedding in mexico. there was some mixed feelings about that. so when DH and i got engaged,,, and then decided to secretly get married at court. we didnt want to make a big deal. esp since i only felt we were married when it was done at my church. so we never called each other husband and wife. his family found out.. since they live here. and were hurt we didnt invite them. we had our actual wedding over a year later. now no one even remembers we got married before hand. i mean it took 15 mins and we didnt even say i do. we sat the whole time and were wearing jeans. my family on the other hand never ever found out.. to this day. im sorry your family is taking it soooo hard. i believe you can put what ever you want on the invites. when i did mine i invited them to my wedding ceremony. thats not the same as a civil marriage. but i guess thats my take on it. hopfully your parents will see that you will not change their mind. and that they are being selfish. in the mean time im sure his family and your friends are very happy for you and wouldnt flintch at you saying its just a wedding ceremony. but you could do somethign fun like ” lets eat drink and re marry” or “we still do” or “blank and blank invite you to join them in a celebration of love” you can simply say come to our vow renewal. they have some that say “i do, i do, take two” or husband and wife invite you to join then as they celebrate their marriage. hope these give you some ideas. dont worry about putting the parents on the invites. i didnt because i lost my father to cancer and my mom remarried. i felt odd having her husband (dont get me wrong i like him) husbands name in place of my fathers. 

Post # 3
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am sorry that your family is being so ridiculous about this situation. One day, they will get over it. I would explain to them that they will get the chance to now see you get married. If they don’t come, you will have to move on. That nonsense about 2 years is not relevant. They would have had the same complaint in 2 years. You did what was best for you and your husband. They cannot control you anymore, and that is what they are the most upset about. Have the wedding that you want, and if they come great. If not, oh well, have a ball anyway. It will be their loss not yours. You can call it a vow renewal if you want to avoid using the word wedding, or even say marriage celebration. You can do whatever you want to do. Your family does not have a legitimate reason for not accepting your husband. Continue to be happily married, and don’t waste time being worried if they never come around. Best of luck to you!

Post # 4
7920 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Your family sounds so difficult- they’re being terrible and frankly they drove you straight to the hasty wedding by digging their heels in like this.

i think a one or two year anniversary vow renewal celebration is romantic and lovely if you two got married so quietly and with out fanfare. I think you just acknowledge what it is, a vow renewal & celebration on the invites, during the ceremony, when speaking about it etc. Even in the cake or favors if you want. 

You’re not pretending anything- if they don’t walk you down the aisle so be it. You can walk yourself and your FI can walk to meet you- do the rest together. 

No one should be mad about that.

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