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I don't know if it's different with a c-section, but I imagine she'd appreciate all the "normal" after-baby care. Things like cleaning the house, cooking meals, running errands, etc... are all really nice. And since she might have a longer recovery time than she would with a vaginal birth, she might just need that kind of help for longer.
I wish you were my fSIL! :)
Agreed :)
Cooking and cleaning are great! What I wish I had was someone who could get the baby for me whenever I needed him because it hurt so bad to get out of a chair/bed. Now, I know that sounds kind of crazy, but it would have been wonderful!
I had a scheduled c-section and I am not sure the recovery is that much harder or longer than your average vaginal birth. (note this is not necessarily true for an unscheduled csection!). That said, the first 1-2 weeks it is hard to sit up quickly so if your friend does not have her husband/family around her, then just being there to help out is really nice - to get the baby for her, help her sit up, etc. And any new mom would probably love anyone to come over and make a home cooked meal, straighten up the apartment, hold the baby while she takes sa shower, etc!!
oh - and what a nice friend you are :)
A friend to help with the above ideas would be great. Just remember that you are there to help her- she is not your hostess. The guest who expects a new mom who is also fresh post-op, to get up and make coffee etc should stay at home.
She will also not be able to drive for a while, so offering a ride or picking up groceries etc will be much appreciated.
Didn't have a c-section, but I still appreciate lots of help! Luckily both of our parents are here so we're getting lots of help. I love when they bring us groceries (especially when they just go and buy things they know I like b/c my mind isn't in a decision making mode right now), bring us lunch and dinner (she's almost 3 weeks old and I think every meal has been provided for us but one or two so far), do laundry, dishes, wash bottles if she's using them.
I think my favorite thing that people can do right now is take her for a little bit so I can do things, like shower, pee, nap, and eat because she cries if I put her down during the day.
i've never been pregnant but a few of my friends have had c-sections and this is what i do.
i coordinated a schedule of dinners for the family. friends and coworkers volunteered to brings meals for the first few weeks. i filled in whenever there was a gap. i also brought them items for breakfast and lunch. i like to stock the mother-to-be's freezer with homemade breakfast burritos. It only takes about two minutes to heat up and it's very portable. i make my special tuna salad and deliver with my favorite loaf of bread from whole foods. lasagna and other casseroles that can be frozen and reheated are also great. i like to assemble them in the glad ovenware that are plastic and both heat-safe and oven-safe.
i also offer to run any errands. i know that my friend was not allowed to climb any stairs or do any heavy lifting. her sister came to live with her for several weeks and helped with cleaning and laundry. i'm not very good with the cleaning or the laundry but i am good with food so i make sure that's taken care of. that way their husbands can focus on the baby and the household chores.
oh and i also coordinated the delivery of the food to make sure it's delivered at a convenient time. i've found that breastfeeding is done pretty frequently during the day. if the mom is busy breastfeeding, i make sure the person doing the delivery knows that it's okay to just drop off the food and leave. most people want to see the baby so that's why timing is important.
I should have reminded folks that I have a 6-month-old so a lot of this is still fresh in my mind. And you're all right--don't expect the mom to be hostess, food is a great option, cleaning, errands. Driving is one big difference between c-section and vaginal delivery. And the lifting. I used a little diaper changing caddy upstairs with our baby (our room is up and hers is down) so I got that together to give her since even walking from room to room may be more trouble than it's worth sometimes. I was talking to her this evening and I think we may try to set up an "on-call" schedule between family and friends so she has someone to call if she needs anything unexpectedly. Thanks, everyone!
Cooking, cleaning, maybe watching the baby at their house so she can get some much needed sleep. Wow this is awesome that your asking. What a great SIL :) Im sure just your willingness to help will be much appreciated.
I had a scheduled c-setion as well, and like @Janna19: said, Im not sure my recovery was any more difficult than a vaginal delivery. I was only prohibited from driving for 10 days, and my dr told me stairs were ok as long as it wasnt multiple times per day. I also didnt have much pain, so getting up and down into and out of bed or the couch wasnt an issue for me really. I would have DEFINITELY appreciated everything @Mrs. Spring: suggested-particularly picking up and preparing some meals. I was amazed at the mess that accumulated my first few days home, and between BFing, bonding, and the stuff you arent allowed to do after a c-section (sweep, vacuum, walk the dog) I had a hard time finding a second to pick up/wash bottles/wash pump parts/etc. Plus, finding time to eat, usually with one hand lol, is hard, and the last thing a new mom wants to do is prepare food. ANY help would be greatly appreciated, trust me!
@malisa0607: I wish you took care of me after mine! LOL. you're amazing!
one other thing - offer to watch the baby so she can nap, but if she doesnt readily take you up on it, dont keep pushing. My MIL kept telling me to go sleep while she watched the baby, but we were JUST getting home and I wanted to bond...not hand her off yet. Trust me, if she wants to take a nap and you've offered, she'll take you up on it.
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My SIL is going to have a scheduled c-section. This was definitely not her first choice but unfortunately all the planets aligned and it really is going to be necessary. For ladies who have had one, what would have made your life easier afterwards?