- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
I just recently got engaged and have begun the planning process. Both my mother and MIL have been very supportive and helpful with little drama about all my decisions. The only things they’ve shot down have been out of interest in practicality. (Example: I’m DIYing a lot of things and wanted to DIY the flowers too the day before the wedding. My mom shot that idea down out of interest in my stress levels. Convinced me it was worth it to pay a florist for my sanity.)
My aunt on the other hand, is not as laid back about the process. She’s rather wealthy and often likes to put my mom down because of it. My parents, inlaws, and myself and the fiance are all chipping in for the wedding. When my aunt learned of my engagement, she immediately demanded to throw the shower for me at her country club. I’m not really a country club kind of girl and my mom was already really excited about throwing me a vintage tea party shower. So I politely declined her offer. She continued to insist, because it’s “the MOB’s job to just show up.” Again, I said no.
She went out of town for a few weeks and when she came back she was very cold and distant towards both my mother and myself. I told my mom that it’s her sister and I didn’t want any drama so I asked her to deal with it. The compromise was that she would throw me a very small engagement party so she would still feel included. Fine.
Yesterday, I get a text from her with pictures of these sparkly, tacky, big centerpieces that she bought for me to use. I already had my centerpieces planned and these don’t match anything about the wedding. Again, I asked my mom to deal with it. However, my mom is the baby sibling and she’s never been very good about not letting my aunts push her around. My aunt’s kids and other cousins are all very career focused and not getting married any time soon, so I understand why she’s excited. She and I have always been very close and I don’t mind including her, but I feel like she’s over stepping her boundaries and trying to take over/push my mom out of the way. How do I shoot her down politely, while still keeping her involved? Do I try to really involve her in my vision so maybe anything she tries to help with fits my ideas, or do I try to shut her out of the planning so I can get my vision and risk hurting her?