- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This post has been a long time coming. I’ve written in the past about my rocky relationship with my father. I could write several books of his antics.
I am pretty numb to the antics and the crazy situations he gets himself into. However, now that my little sister (who is 4) is getting older, I can see how his irregular behavior his negatively impacting her life.
I suppose I’ll begin by saying that my father is manic depressive. He has been clinically diagnosed when he was involutarily committed many years ago (I was a little girl). He refuses to believe anything is wrong with him. He refuses to take actual medication or see anyone qualified for help. His manic stages typically last the longest 9 months since it is the hardest stage to keep up. Then, he starts doing drugs (you name it, he’s done it) to feel that manic high again….which only leads him down deep into the depths depression.
My grandmother watches my little sister all day everyday (sometimes spending the nights 4+ nights in a row) and typically on the weekends. She also lets my dad and his girlfriend (who is my age and went to my highschool) stay in one of her houses rent free (even though she is strapped for cash these days)
When my little sister was born, he was amazing. He was actually static for about a year. No episodes. (Insert inevitable episode)
Now, four years later…he’s gotten so bad I can’t speak with him. It’s almost as bad as when he was committed.
1) He believes the comet Ison is going to destroy the earth and thought that on Thanksgiving when it passed we were all going to die. Now that it didn’t happen, he believes when the comet comes back around the earth, we are all going to be killed.
2) He is very into aliens right now. He goes onto several conspiracy theory websites and soaks all of the crud in. He believes that aliens are about to take over the world. He even believes that aliens are traveling behind the comet Ison in hiding, waiting to take over. Recently, he has been taking videos above his house of “flashing lights” that he believes to be aliens. He even gave me a flash drive with his recordings and admitted that he has thousands of hours of it. He is alien obsessed.
3) Drugs. Last time he was comitted he was heavily using ecstasy. Now, I KNOW he is smoking pot. He has my whole life. However, during my wedding, one of the servers saw my dad and his girlfriend in his truck with their door open snorting something. I very much trust this person with this information.
4) I told him that I was pregnant. He barely batted an eye, made a rude comment that he was too young to be a grandfather and continued talking about how the pregnancy will not matter since the comet is going to destroy us all anyways. Whatever. *insert eye roll*
This all leaves my little sister in the mix. My grandma does everything she can to take care of her. She buys her food, clothes, etc. As I mentioned, most nights she is with her. She is a fierce protector of her. However, she is scared to push my dad too far with the fear that he takes my little sister and runs away with her. She even pushed for me to “not rock the boat” with him over letting him walk me down the aisle to avoid this very fear. Yet, on the times she cannot protect her from my father (who has legal custody, the real mother is in prison) what is my littler sister being exposed to!?
We (my grandmother and myself) have made a pact that if we ever caught him doing drugs around her (any kind(as he did me)) we would legally try to take her away. Yet, he hides it so well now from us. He denies doing them. Attempting an intervention would only result in chaos. Furthermore, getting the police involved would only result in him being arrested, getting out on bail, and taking my sister. Even with a protective order, I fear the worse for her.
I have personally tried to sit down and talk to him about his behavior. He told me that since I drive a small car everytime I am getting on the highway I am risking my life and to not talk to him ever about his choices. Okay, I left it at that. Psycho man.
He is not abusive towards her. She actually recieves little to no discipline which is resulting in bad behavior from her. I feel like she is starting life on a crappy road. Furthermore, not knowing where she is staying from night to night just isn’t good for her. He refuses to work out a schedule either.
I guess… what I am saying is, he obviously wont accept help or believe that anything is wrong. But what do I do in this situation?! Obviously, having him comitted didn’t do anything last time. He is the legal guardian over my sister, we do not really have proof of the drugs to get her taken away. When she is in his presence she is fed, clothed, and bathed. Yet, I feel like I’m sitting by and letting my sister’s future go right past me. I know what it’s like to listen to his rantings and how scary his manic moods can be. I feel helpless.
What would you do bees?
Any advice is appreciated!