Post # 1
So, my FI’s brother died in his 20s two years ago. It sucked royally for everyone, and (obviously) the family is not over it, but… since the funeral, they don’t talk about it. At all. I try to provide a safe space for my Fiance, I think he’s okay-ish, but with his parents, they’re just not talkers and I don’t know how to deal with it. My family talks constantly, too much, tmi all over the place, so I don’t have a sense of what non-talkers would like. I love my future in-laws, but I feel totally out of my depth on this subject and I don’t want to hurt them.
And now the wedding question: no one else will, so I’m going to bring Brother up in the planning. Unless that’s a terrible idea? Maybe they would like to honor him in some way, maybe not, but I’d like to suggest a few possibilities for them to shoot down. What are your ideas for honoring a late beloved brother in an afternoon garden wedding with no programs?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
Can you find out what kind of things he was interested and make it a more personal rememberance?
My aunt died of leukemia 8 months before her daughter’s wedding, and she was an avid quilter…so they laid a quilt on the chair where she would have set to remember her.
I think they mentioned in the program as well, but anyone who knew my aunt instantly knew the significance.
Post # 4
My cousin had a garden type wedding ceremony, and they had a bouquet at the front of the ceremony with a flower for all the special people who had pasted before the wedding. You could have little notes attached with thin ribbon or sting to the flowers saying the names of you Fiance brother and anyone else you would like to remember.
Post # 5
I would ask his family what they would like. In all seriousness, a wedding is a joyous occasion and his family may not want to be reminded of a devastating event for them at your wedding. This is not to say that they want to forget their son– it’s just that they’d probably rather not have an outward display of the fact that he has passed away and is not there. I’m sure they will be thinking it in their heads anyway. But again, you should really find out what they want– or get your Fiance to talk to them! Good luck 🙂