Post # 1
My FFIL is in the Navy and is currently deployed in Kuwait. We recently found out he will not be able to return until mid-July and our wedding is mid-June, so he will miss our wedding ceremony.
I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about a way to include my FFIL in our wedding ceremony, and how to announce my FMIL at the wedding reception (we will have FBIL escort her in and have two BM’s with one GM, because FBIL is standing up)
Has anyone had a loved one missing from their wedding due to a military leave? Is there a way to include him that is not morbid? (i.e. not flowers or anything like a memorial, because he’s still with us!)
Hope the hive has some good advice!
Post # 3
This one is hard because you don’t want it to appear as if he is decesased as he is still alive and fighting for our country! (Thanks to him!) What if you tried to get a video message taped of him with a toast? You could ask someone to do it for you so that it would be a surprise to you as well? Or if not a surprise to you perhaps a surprise to your fiance?
Hmm – other then that I think the usual of making sure his name is still prominent on the wedding program, and as for announcing his wife – if she wants she could still be announced as "Mrs. John Smith escorted by her son – Bobby Smith – Mr. John Smith is currently serving our country overseas but sends his love and congratulations to the bride and groom."
I would also think of dedicating a song to him or trying to figure out a way for your fiance to be able to call him or have him call you all — I’m not sure if that is at all possible depending on where he is located and if he actually "on duty".
I’ll try to think of some others!
Post # 4
Also — I dont know if your wedding is in a church or not (and therefore if this would look completely out of place) but perhaps just having an American flag located in the corner of the room would remind you and your guests of the sacrifice he is making?
Post # 5
Does your fiance want him mentioned? Or is this just something nice you’re trying to do for him? Does it matter whether it is a public or a private acknowledgement?
I like the idea of announcing where he is. A videoed recording to play at the reception is such a sweet idea. Is there some way you could like, video-conference that day? Call him on Skype at your reception?
His mom can be Mrs. John Smith or Mrs. Nancy Smith–I would ask her how she would like to be introduced.
Post # 6
My little sister is currently deployed in Iraq, and we’re not sure if she will be back in time for the wedding. We wanted to include her anyway, though, so we still put up her picture (with the rest of the family photos) on our wedding website with message that she is currently serving overseas and that she’s in our thoughts and prayers. If she’s not back at the time of the wedding, we’ll also put a little blurb in our program explaining where she is and that she is in our hearts at this time. We’ve also talked about streaming the ceremony live on our wedding website so she could still watch it as it’s happening, but doing this will depend on whether she’s out on a convoy at the time.
I think the idea of a pre-taped video toast is really sweet, as well as the suggestion of calling him on Skype during the reception.
Post # 7
Could you maybe ask him to pick a reading and then having FBIL read it on his behalf?
As for the introduction- I would just say, "Introducing FMIL Latte Love escorted by her son FBIL standing in for his dad who is serving our country."
Would you consider saying the pledge at the start of your reception in honor of his service?
What about singing God Bless America as one of your hymns during the ceremony and announcing that it’s in honor of your FFIL who is serving and couldn’t be at the ceremony?
I like the toast idea- if you can’t get it pre-recorded, perhaps just have someone read it on his behalf?
Post # 9
Thanks for the help, ladies!
@chelseamorning–I haven’t really spoken to my fiance about it because I think if I were to just say "we should remember your dad somehow", he might not understand or think it’s strange. I wanted to approach him with a few ideas.
The reality is, he and his dad are complete opposites. They are not very close, and have never spent a lot of time together. Because of our long distance relationship, his deployment, and the emotional distance between my fiance and his dad, I haven’t gotten a chance to get to know him very well. I think if I came up with an idea to include/remember him that wasn’t too cheesy, over the top, or not feasible–my fiance would consider it. He loves his dad, and it’s not like they fight or don’t speak, they’re just not terribly close. And I feel absolutely terrible he can’t make it to the wedding.
I love the idea of pre-written, or pre-recorded toast. My DJ is planning to bring a projector for our slideshow, so if we could play that, I think it would be great. Thanks for the insight from the Navy standpoint, Mighty! I don’t know what his command crest is but I’ll have my fiance ask him about it.
Thanks again! I know I can always count on the hive 🙂
Post # 10
@ MightySapphire. Thanks for the great Navy info. My brother is a lieutenant in the Navy and even though we planned our wedding based on his deployment schedule, his orders got changed and he can’t be there 🙁 I’m not really sure what you mean by command crest but would love to use that idea. Is it just an icon or is it something more concrete. How do I find it??