Post # 1
I have 5 siblings (2 sisters and 3 brothers) and 6 nieces/nephews (5 girls & 1 boy). All my nieces & nephew are in the wedding as JR. BMs, flower girls, and ring bearer. My two older brothers are ushers and my younger brother (who I’m the closest to in the family) is walking me down the aisle (since I don’t have a father).
How do I include my 2 sisters (21 & 30 years old) in the ceremony and/or reception? I’m not that close to them and in fact, the older one constantly starts bickering matches with me which is the reason I don’t go home that often. I want to include them somehow, because they are my sisters and everyone else is included and because one day we may become closer and I don’t want to regret that they didn’t participate past being guests.
Post # 5
I was going to say readers as well! You could also have them light the candles/unity candles at the front of church before the ceremony starts
Post # 6
To avoid the drama involved, I chose not to make my sisters BMs. Instead I made my oldest sister a reader. My other two sisters (one older and one younger than me) have both been invited to my nail appointment (I offered to pay for theirs), the hair/makeup appointments (I offered to pay for this too), and to get dressed with me in the bridal room. I think there are other things that might work as well, too, like giving a toast at the wedding or rehearsal dinner or asking them to escort grandparents/parents/readers/etc… down the aisle before the processional actually begins.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies! I’m actually afraid to make them readers because (as bad as this sounds), one of them may try to purposely sabotage the reading. That’s how that one sister is.
Mrs. Spring: I really like the idea of having them attend certain pre-ceremony events and such. I never thought about doing something like that. I’m hoping that by the time the wedding rolls around, the sister who starts stuff will have cooled down by then…
Post # 8
I was going to suggest letting them do readings, but is there any other job you think they would be satisfied with?
Maybe they could each have completely seperate responsibilities (to keep the one that would mess up on purpose away from a job like that)
Also – anything that they do with you before the actual ceremony is special. Maybe just having them there during the getting ready stuff is enough?
Post # 9
lol, Miss Golden, that’s why only my oldest sister is a reader! I love my sisters but they are definitely hard to handle sometimes. I just wanted to completely eliminate them from any responsibilities just in case they decided to start some drama on the day of the wedding. Besides inviting them to appointments and to get ready with me the day of, I am also having them escort my grandma down the aisle before the actual procession starts. Just a thought on how to include them in the ceremony without actually giving them anything they can mess up (unless they want to piss off my grandma!).
Post # 10
I think Mrs. Spring is right on. I mean, who wants to piss off their grandmother?!?!
Post # 11
Could you ask them if they would like to be bridesmaids, but not actually ask them to do any bridesmaid work? Like, wearing the dress and standing up there is their only obligation?
Post # 12
I actually don’t like the idea of giving people readings just ’cause you want them to be included…
Maybe as ushers? Or just include them in the bridesmaid activities (inviting them to parties, etc) and get them a corsage or small bouquet the day of? Listing them in the program?
Post # 13
What about greeters? I’m not sure if they’d be "happy" people but you could have them hand out programs or something at the ceremony. Or if you’re having a church service with communion, you could have them bring up the gifts. Maybe you could put them in charge of food the day of the wedding for the wedding party, like bring stuff to the appointments, and then have them drive your car to the reception?
Post # 14
@chelseamorning: I’ve already picked out my bridesmaids and that’s the reason for some of the arguments. Because I didn’t pick them (we’re seriously NOT close and I never even got a congrats from either of them), my older sister went nuts about it saying I should have at least made my little sister one since she wanted me to be one of hers (she is also engaged). I haven’t even heard from my little sister about being a BM in her wedding, so my older one probably made it up. To me, a bridesmaid is someone who’s been there for you and your fiance through your courtship and will continue being there through your marriage. Basically, not my sisters. Having them stand up there with my true friends would be an insult to them. (Harsh, but true.)
@Gilneas: I think I’m going to order them (along with my mom and fmil) all the same bouquets that are smaller versions of the bridesmaids bouquets.
@ jma19: I think I’ve settled on special bouquets for them and having them come get their makeup & hair done with us. I’m also going to keep invites open for them to attend things like the bachelorette party, etc. Do you think that will include them enough without setting up chances for fights?